Logan was sure he'd stopped breathing. Marie had her hand on his cheek for at least two minutes. Nothing. No pull, no dizziness, no feeling like he was being turned inside out. They held each other's gaze, neither of them willing to break the spell that had been cast upon this moment. Marie's brow furrowed and her eyes grew slightly wider with the unspoken fear of Logan's reaction.
"Marie. What the…"
He couldn't even finish his question before she interrupted him. Her voice quivered. The smell of her amazement, fear and excitement permeated the air.
"When you were holding me, I was thinking how much I wished that I could hold your hand. I wanted to know what your skin felt like just once. Then you kissed me. I always feel my skin trigger when someone touches me, Logan. Always. Even if it's the briefest brush of a finger I feel a slight…well…burn. But there was nothing. So I slipped off my glove and touched your arm. Then your face."
Her whispered words were filled with awe. "I can touch."
"Holy shit."
"I think...I think it's his power. It sounds crazy, but maybe I hypnotized myself into suppressing it."
Logan moved his hand and tentatively placed it over Marie's. Her skin was so soft and her fingers much more delicate that he would have imagined. He was stunned but also frightened for Marie.
"Are you okay, darlin'?"
Her shoulders shrugged as she moved her hand back to her lap. She held onto Logan's hand, cradling it gently between her palms as if she were holding a baby bird. Marie trailed her fingers over every line of his hands, reveling in every sensation under her fingertips.
"I'm not sure if I feel excited at the possibility that I can finally touch people or terrified at the possibility that people can touch me."
She'd spent her adult life hiding from her past and building a wall around herself so she could never be hurt again. Marie crafted a persona that kept others at bay and it had worked so spectacularly well she'd found herself trapped in a life without trust, without courage and without love. She didn't quite know how to wrap her mind around the idea of having someone who could care for her enough to give her space but not let her run away. Remy did but her fear had shut him out. Now Logan was here and it felt so right it frightened her.
Marie had spent so much time dancing around how deeply she wanted Logan that she'd convinced herself that he wouldn't want her. That she was 'damaged goods'. That he deserved a real woman. It had been easier to be a bitch than make herself vulnerable to rejection. But here she sat, resting in the strength of Logan's arms and he wasn't running away. He wasn't trying to push her farther than she was willing to go. Maybe she was worth his love after all. Maybe she had a chance at something special. Just maybe.
As she turned her head to search Logan's eyes, Marie allowed the spark of hope to ignite in her chest.
"When you said you needed me. You really meant that?"
"More than anythin' in my life, Marie."
"I need you too, Logan. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn about letting you in."
"You were hurtin'. And I wasn't very understandin'."
"It wasn't your fault. You didn't know."
They allowed the comfortable silence to stretch between them for several moments.
"So, what do we do now?"
Logan could sense Marie's fragility. After her nightmare, she'd been angry, frustrated and ashamed. But now, in the aftermath of Vinnie's attack, her newfound ability to touch and the realization Logan meant what he'd said about his feelings for her, Marie was as tender and afraid as she'd been when she crawled into his camper seven years ago. It inflamed his need to protect and shelter her from anything that could ever cause her pain again.
"We get you to your room, let you clean up and get you somethin' to eat. Then you sleep."
Marie tensed in his arms and he rubbed her back soothingly.
"I ain't leavin', Marie. I'll stay with you all night. If you have a nightmare, I'll be there."
"You going to use your claws on my dreams?"
She tried to make it a joke, but Logan could hear the fear in her voice.
"Baby, I'd go to hell if it meant keepin' you safe."
Marie looked at him again, her face a mask of innocent wonder and relief. She moved one hand away from where it cradled his and, once again, brought it to his face, gently tracing the edge of his jaw and caressing his cheek with her thumb. It took every ounce of his willpower not to lean forward and kiss her. That ever present animal inside wanted to claim her, let her know how much he wanted her. But the last thing she needed was for him to act like he had no self-control. So, he remained still and, for a long while, she just sat there. Marie's fingers gently moved across his face as if she were a blind woman memorizing his features with her touch.
Then Marie shifted forward. Slowly and tentatively she moved her face to meet his. Her lips grazed Logan's mouth gently and reverently. He felt her restraint and didn't push to deepen the kiss or increase the intensity. Marie was testing him. Testing her boundaries. Wading into the shallow end of a pool that had almost drowned her. So Logan let her lead and after less than a minute, Marie moved back, her eyes still closed and the corner of her mouth quirked in a small smile.
"I always knew you smelled good, Logan. But you taste even better."
Marie opened her eyes to see Logan smiling at her. She could tell he was holding back. Logan was not the type of guy to let someone else take control. He did care. Enough to sacrifice what he wanted to make her feel secure.
"Even if you couldn't touch me, Marie, I would have your back every step of the way."
"Thanks Logan. That means more than you know."
Logan kissed the top of her head again, running his hand through her hair as he did so.
"C'mon, baby, let's go."
They stood together, Logan's arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder as they exited the danger room. Marie put her head on his shoulder as they walked together. For the first time in years, standing in the shelter of Logan's embrace, Marie finally felt safe.
oOo
In the early morning light, Logan sat on the porch smoking a cigar and drinking his coffee. Marie had fallen asleep almost immediately after eating and showering the previous night and had slept without incident. Logan liked to think it was because she felt safe with him there but, maybe it was just the luck of the draw that had given her a break from her nightmares. He'd slept by her side the entire time, silently cursing himself for how many nights he'd missed out on having Marie in his arms.
Logan took a deep inhale on the cigar, allowing the smoke to fill his lungs before exhaling into the crisp morning air. Marie spent so long putting on a show of being independent and strong that Logan had almost believed it. But inside, she was still that apprehensive teenager in need of family, friends and a home.
As he'd watched her sleep, his possessiveness of her only deepened. Marie was his now. His to protect. His to love. Logan never thought he would feel so intensely for another woman and, yet, his entire being echoed with his need for her. Wolverine clawed and snarled every time Logan thought of Vinnie and Cody hurting Marie. If they weren't already dead and in a coma, Logan would have been on his way to track them down and eviscerate each one from stem to stern.
No wonder she'd never found the control over her mutation. After what she'd been through, her mutation was a shield against further pain. But now that shield was gone. And Logan would be damned if he'd let anything happen to her again.
"Damn, Wolvie, that thing stinks."
He must have been too caught up in his fantasies of pulling apart Vinnie piece by piece to hear Jubilee walk up.
"Not as much as your gum."
"Gum is fruity and sweet. Those things smell like old gym socks."
He exhaled again purposely blowing the smoke in her direction, eliciting an overdramatic cough from his young friend.
"I don't know what the hell Rogue sees in you. You're so rude."
"My natural charm, Jubes."
Jubilee sat on a lounge chair opposite Logan. She wrapped herself in an afghan she'd brought outside. Great. She was looking to talk.
"So, how's our girl this morning?"
"Showering. I told her I'd meet her down here for breakfast."
"Did she sleep okay? After what happened, I kind of figured she'd be a mess."
"She was. Still is a bit this mornin'."
Logan took a sip of his coffee and debated whether or not to divulge Marie's newfound control to her best friend. No, that's something she had to do in her own time. He wouldn't take that away from her.
"I'm glad you're there for her, Logan. You're what she needs."
"Thanks, Jubes."
The diminutive woman pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders and looked out towards the trees. Jubilee's voice was wistful. He could smell the sadness radiating off of her.
"I wish she would have opened up to you sooner. About Cody. Victor. All of it. She needed to get it off her chest so she could heal. Maybe now she can start."
Logan froze at the sound of that name.
Victor.
"Whaddya mean, Victor?"
Jubilee turned her attention back to Logan and watched as the confusion in her face gave way to panic.
"Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."
"Jubilation Lee…"
"She didn't tell you. Dammit! Wolvie, I thought you knew. She's gonna kill me."
Logan shifted forward, his eyes becoming dark with rage. He pushed his words out through clenched teeth.
"Spill it. Now."
Jubilee sighed deeply. There was no going back.
"When Buckethead took her, he had her locked up in some crappy place. She said it was like being in a medieval tower or something. One night, Victor came to her cell. He…beat her."
Logan shot up, his coffee cup clanging down onto the brick patio. His fists clenched and he felt the welcome pain of the adamantium sliding between his knuckles.
"He tried to...didn't care about her skin at all. Said he liked to live dangerously…but he didn't. Magneto interrupted. It was close, though. A few more minutes and he would have."
Logan stood still. The fury…the Wolverine…so close to taking over. He breathed through his nostrils, attempting to calm down. Knowing that he couldn't let himself lose control. He had to hold it together.
For Marie.
"Those are the nightmares, Logan. Now she's had another person violate her. The poor woman is a damn mess, Wolvie. I'm scared for her. So scared."
The metal began to retract slowly into place and Logan watched as the wounds healed within seconds. If only he could help Marie recover that quickly.
"Please don't say anything. Please. If she hasn't told you yet, she's not ready. Okay?"
"I won't, Jubes. There anythin' else I need to know."
Jubilee stood up and approached her friend and mentor. The afghan fell to her elbows as her arms came up to Logan's shoulders.
"Just that she loves you. You're what she needs right now, Wolvie. Don't leave her. Don't ever leave her."
Logan looked at the woman's dark eyes and saw how much Jubilee feared for her friend.
"She's mine now, Jubes. I'll do anythin' for her."
Jubilee embraced Logan, whispering a quiet thank you into his broad chest. She stood back and put her hand on his cheek, smiling gently as she moved away and headed toward the door.
"And get some breath mints before she shows up, cowboy."
The door opened and closed behind her.
Logan collapsed back down on the chair, his head falling into his hands. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. She'd gone through hell time after time because he wasn't there to protect her. She was strong, his Marie. That made him damn proud of her. But from now on, nothing was ever going to hurt her again. Nothing.
"I'll do anythin' for you Marie."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Continued thanks to doctorg for her beating and support.