"Darlin'?"
Marie blinked, looking over to where Logan sat across the table from her. Zoned out again. She found herself doing it occasionally when she was trying to puzzle something out.
"What's buggin' you?" Logan asked.
He couldn't solve all of her problems but she appreciated that he helped talk her way through them. Though this one wasn't really her problem, it was someone else's. She glanced over at the table across the dining area and he followed her gaze.
"Jubilee?" he inquired.
She nodded. Jubilee had come back at the end of Logan's week away. Marie knew from the women she worked with that it was a mission that Pyro put together. Some camp that had been overlooked by the government because it was a 'factory'. Pyro had put all the intel together and convinced the X-Men to take it down.
Jubilee had been one of those freed. She'd come back different and Marie knew that different. Jubilee had always been an opinionated extravert. Now she was brash in an overly annoying way. Unlike the old days, she hadn't even picked up old friendships or any friends at all.
In a roundabout way, she reminded Marie of herself. Marie had gone the opposite direction, becoming almost robotic to deal with her pain. Jubilee had become a parody of herself and Marie was positive she was hiding her pain behind that.
Logan watched Jubilee for a few seconds before turning back to Marie. "Gold guy," she said by way of explanation. She didn't need to explain her concern about Foley to him. Mostly Foley was kept too busy for any hijinks and they couldn't outright accuse him of anything because the incident with Marie was a he said-she said problem. Nothing solid and Foley could claim it was a misunderstanding.
"Pretty sure Jubilee knows. She approached him." Logan could see the disappointment under Marie's usual flat expression, but he couldn't help Jubilee.
Marie didn't like it when she couldn't solve a problem. There had to be something she could do to prevent Jubilee from being used. Having the gold guy fix something wasn't going to further Jubilee's efforts to find her footing.
After breakfast Marie tracked down Jubilee, it wasn't hard. Some of the mansions gardens were overgrown from little use. The tall grass made it easy, that combined with a thing or two she'd picked up from Logan about tracking.
She found them with the gold guy leaning up against a tree as Jubilee had begun to undo his pants. Remembering how good it felt to hit him before, she considered that but was uncertain of what Jubilee's reaction would be. Marie still had a hard time reading people's cues because it looked like Jubilee wanted to do this with him. Surely that was wrong, why would anyone want to be used?
Marie decided to talk instead, that normally helped her and Logan. "Doesn't care," she stated when close enough.
Jubilee's shoulders slumped a little but the gold guy made that squeaky noise Marie remembered from when she hit him. He tried to bolt, tripped, fell and floundered around before successfully fleeing.
"Bastard, get back here. We had a deal!" Jubilee yelled after him. Exhaling loudly, she turned on Marie with a look of disgust. "What did you do that for?"
"Using you," Marie sputtered out, feeling her emotions start to swirl. "Doesn't care," she repeated.
"Well, duh," Jubilee was almost shouting. "That was the point. Handjob for dopamine high."
Marie understood now. There were a couple of people the women talked about. One was being treated for addiction, another still trying to hide it. They had chosen a different path from Marie to deal with their troubles.
"Still there later," Marie insisted.
Jubilee made a sound somewhere between a yell of anger and one of frustration. She began stomping around muttering and kicking at clumps of grass, all the while waving her arms about. Marie simply stood there waiting for her to run out of steam; she'd started this and needed to finish it.
Eventually, Jubilee kicked at one of the old, decorative rock walls before plopping down with a huff. Joining her, Marie sat with her in silence. Marie could feel the other girl working up to something.
"What the hell do you know anyway?" Jubilee burst out. "You were safe with Wolvie the whole time."
Calm. That was what Logan always showed her when she was angry. He also listened, and she needed to do the same for Jubilee.
Marie slowly shook her head. "Lab," she offered quietly. Jubilee looked at her in disbelief and Marie knew she hadn't seen the scars.
The morning had been cool and she'd worn a long sleeve shirt. Unlike the time Marie had wanted to shock the red-headed scientist, she only wanted Jubilee to understand she wasn't alone.
Cautiously she raised her shirt to show the other girl the scars that covered her torso. Jubilee reached out but paused. Marie gave her an awkward smile. "Mutation b...burned out," she stuttered.
Jubilee pulled Marie's shirt out a little further. "All over?"
Nodding in confirmation, Marie tried not to flinch at the touch. Only two people had touched her up to now that hadn’t made her panic, one was Logan and the other was Sally with the briefest of contacts. Marie finally pulled down her shirt and notice the change in Jubilee.
All the anger and frustration had drained away. When Jubilee spoke, Marie could tell that the brash behavior had been put to the side also. "I'm a heel," Jubilee admitted with defeat.
"No," Marie argued, "You're hurting." She saw the tears run down Jubilee's cheeks.
"My whole team," she said through sniffles. "Killed, except me."
"Surviving's easy part," Marie said calmly. Feeling something in herself loosen.
There was no holding back the flood of tears then. Jubilee hugged Marie, clinging to her and babbling about her team. For a moment Marie almost panicked at the loss of what to do. Until she stopped thinking of what to do and hugged her back, letting Jubilee say and cry all she needed.
One soaked shirt later, Jubilee wiped away the last of her tears. "Now what?" she asked. "How are you doing it?"
Marie shrugged, "Logan." That was all there was to it. If it wasn't for him, she'd still be on the fringe of the group trying not to drown in the interactions of others.
Jubilee gave her a short, authentic laugh. "Find myself a man, uh?"
Shaking her head no, Marie thought of the gold guy and added, "Some no good."
"Tell me about it," Jubilee agreed.
After a while, an idea came to Marie. She didn't know if Jubilee would go for it but it was worth a try. The closest thing they could offer to Jubilee's one true love. Standing, Marie said, "Do something...you enjoy."
Jubilee followed as Marie led the way to the old gymnasium. "Whoa, Chica," Jubilee stopped just inside the door surveying their surroundings.
"No mall," Marie knew it wasn't like shopping but it was fashion, something Jubilee always excelled at. She walked over to Sally to see if Jubilee could work with them.
She was expecting for Sally to say the more the merrier, one of those comforting Sally phrases. Instead, Sally assessed Jubilee and welcomed her. "We've been in need of a fashionista."
Just like that Jubilee was part of the group. The change wasn't immediate, but it happened. Marie wasn't certain how much it helped but Jubilee started exhibiting some of her older personality. At least in the gymnasium with the other women, it seemed to be enough.
Marie didn't like it, not one bit. She stood in the doorway watching as the X-Men planned the takedown of a hidden sentinel factory. This Domino grated on her nerves. She thought she didn't have any left after the lab, but the appearance of this woman proved different.
Jubilee referred to her as the bitch, though Marie was fairly certain that might have been more for her benefit than anything else. The other women all shook their heads in disapproval. Domino wasn't allowed in the lower levels, that was why all the planning was being done where Marie didn't have to work up her courage to go.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Logan; he hadn't changed anything since the woman's arrival. She had yet to tell him her feelings for him and occasionally worried that he might leave her for someone that could return his love. But Marie knew he would inform her if that day ever came.
No, it was all about the way Domino flirted with him. How she endlessly had her hands all over him. The sexual innuendo wasn't subtle either. Marie had even seen Cyclopes roll his eyes and the red-headed scientist walk away rubbing her temples.
Luckily, this would all be over in a day or two. The woman would be gone and Marie would feel...feel what? Those emotions always just out of reach, swirling, rising. They scared her; she didn't want to think about what they meant.
The team was finished, for the time being, and Marie continued to watch as the others filed out. Domino practically rubbed herself on Logan. He growled at her, not a nice growl and definitely not one he'd ever used with Marie.
Logan was trying but this ruse for the sake of the mission was near impossible. There was a line he was unwilling to cross and Domino was constantly wanting him to step over it. So far he'd been successful at putting her off. He'd hate to rebuild this raid from scratch without the codes but he would if he had to.
He was more concerned about Marie than anything else. She was weary of the whole situation and though he made sure not to neglect her; she was building a wall, becoming quieter again. He refused to sacrifice her wellbeing for this mission.
"Dump the chaperon and we can have some fun," Domino said to no one in particular. Seeing as how there were only three people present, Marie knew it was meant for her.
Logan gave another angry growl of displeasure, but Marie was already walking away. Her lungs were constricted and she couldn't catch her breath. In the lab, she'd practiced controlling her breathing, but this was beyond her control. Something was welling up inside her and she was afraid. Afraid she would be left paralyzed by this new feeling.
Outside, she thought it would be easier to breathe. The Autumn air helped and she went to the one place that brought her solace, the meadow. It was a decent distance from the mansion, quiet and secluded. They camped there during the summer when one or both of them needed to get away. Logan had built a bench, a fire ring, and a picnic table.
It was their spot. A place where they were left completely alone. Where she could find balance again before dealing with life at the mansion once more.
It didn't take long for Logan to find her. He sat down beside her and waited. Patience was a virtue and he had an abundance where she was concerned. Enough patience that by now he should be a saint.
As much as she told herself in the beginning that he might eventually want someone else, it hurt to think about it. "She wants you."
Logan sighed and nodded. "Something like that." He knew it was only about the sex with Domino.
"Have you, with her?" Marie knew it was too close to the surface and she wasn't making sense. He wouldn't cheat on her. "Before?"
"Domino and I have a long history." She was wanting more, he could see it in the way she wrapped her arms around herself. "We did. Before I met you."
"Better for you," Marie stated flatly. Logan often held himself back for her and worked hard to keep their relationship together. He shouldn't have to.
"How so?" He was curious exactly what she saw in Domino that would make Marie go down this train of thought.
"Plan...fight together." She wasn't blind. They made an excellent team. "Wouldn't worry."
Logan thought back over his past with Domino and immediately knew he wouldn't ever put the work into a relationship with her. Love of fighting wasn't a solid base for a relationship. "Is that what you want?"
His chest tightened at the thought and he let his senses go, trying to take hold of the calm of the meadow. Let it override the hurt working its way up. In his urgency, he almost missed the smell of tears. For the first time since sitting down, he truly looked over at her.
Tears glittered and clung to her lashes. She was pulling at her sleeves, trying to cover her hands. Clearly in distress as she began to rock slightly back and forth.
Pulling her into a hug, he inquired again, "Marie?"
"No." Her voice was shaky and the tears spilled over. "Want you to be happy," she said resting her head on his shoulder.
"Wouldn't be happy with her." He kissed the top of her head. The dread he'd felt subsided. This was something they could sort out. "Love you and I'm sorry this is so hard for you."
"But you let her..." Marie looked at him and made a sour face for lack of words.
"Let her believe there might be something more after the mission?" he asked. It had taken too long, but they'd finally been able to suss out Domino's real goal. Separate plans had been made that only a handful of X-Men knew in order to mitigate anything that might implicate them.
"Using her," Marie said, glancing up with a furrow in her brow.
"Stringing her along." Logan wanted to tell Marie all about it, but it was best to wait. No one was around to hear, yet for now, the less said the better.
Marie nodded in understanding, he would tell her when the time was right. She'd been accurate in her assessment of Logan's feelings for that woman but sometimes she knew she didn't pick up on social cues properly. Not to mention that he was trying to fool Domino into seeing what she wanted to see.
Their talk helped her feelings to settle and filter themselves out. She knew now the emotion that scared her the most. Love. Receiving it was easy enough, it was giving it in return that disturbed her because up to now she'd feared it could still be rejected. Maybe someday soon she would be able to give that part of herself freely.
They may not have solved the world's problems, but she really didn't care as long as things were good between them. She could breathe again, and that new feeling had fluttered around and landed in her chest warming it. Logan to had finally relaxed beside her, the tension between them having evaporated from his body.
Wiping at the tears that had run down her cheeks, she looked out across the meadow. In the distance, she saw small, wooden pieces that baffled her. Getting up, she started toward them then stepped back and pulled Logan up.
"Wondered when you'd notice those," he said nonchalantly. He'd been put in charge of some basic survival classes for the students. What had started out as a shelter building exercise had grown.
He watched as Marie paced off the area between the wooden stakes. Eventually, she gave up and stood in the middle with her hands on her hips.
"Cabin," he said with a grin.
She stared over at him, eyes wide. "For us?"
"Yep, already felled some trees." He hoped by this time next year, or soon after, it would be ready. Close enough to the others to remain active in mansion life but far enough away that neither of them would feel confined.
"Give me a tour," she said crooking her arm for him to guide her around.
Taking her hand instead, he showed her where the kitchen and dining room would be, then moved to the living room of the open floor plan. She nodded in approval at the mention of a porch.
"For a rocking chair," she declared.
He noticed it wasn't a request or suggestion. "Will do," he said before continuing the tour.
They ended up in the bedroom with Marie already deciding where the bed would be placed. She liked the layout, big so they wouldn't feel cramped but smallish and homey. Though there was something missing that she couldn't readily put her finger on. "Only one bedroom?" she asked turning around.
Logan ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn't wanted to be presumptuous and push anything on her. This was all in the preliminary planning stage and a second bedroom would easily be added.
"Babies don't.." she paused summoning the courage, "Stay little long." Kitty's baby had grown by leaps and bounds. Just because Marie wasn't read for one tomorrow didn't mean she wouldn't want a baby someday. She felt as though she'd grown by leaps and bounds, and would be ready eventually.
Sweeping her up in a bearhug, noting with satisfaction that the tightness of the hug no longer caused panic or even discomfort, he said, "If that is what you want."
Burying her face in the crook of his neck, she inhaled his scent. It never failed to soothe her and she believed this is what would be called happiness. He'd worked long and hard to give her this sense of normalcy, she could do the same for him. "I do want it."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Domino makes an appearance here. Not the fabulous Domino from Deadpool 2, but the comic version from X-Force: Sex & Violence.