She knew he was back. Knew by the sound of a bike kicking up gravel at three in the morning. By the lingering scent of a cigar in the courtyard. She felt a nervous flutter in her belly as she headed toward the morning briefing room, unsure of how should react to seeing him again after so long. After what they had gone through together, what they had done.
Logan nodded at her as she took her normal seat across from him and she smiled back, if a bit nervously. She knew he’d be able to read her, would be able to scent what she was feeling, so she tried to focus on ignoring the nervous uncertainty she felt as Scott went through the news and mission updates, while she tried to ignore her first instinct to watch him and try and figure out what he was thinking. Jubilee nudged her in the ribs afterward, raising her eyebrows at Logan’s retreating back, signaling this was her moment. But Rogue shook her head. Not yet. Not in front of everyone. She wasn’t ready.
Two afternoons later, after wrapping up her advanced sparring class, she spotted him and Jubilee making their way toward the garage, the pair of them looking as though they were headed out for some fun. Jubilee caught her eye as Rogue was passing behind them on her way to her room and winked at her. She decided she’d rather not know what Jubilee was thinking at that moment, and continued on, intent on enjoying a well-deserved shower.
She didn’t come face to face with Logan until she returned from an extended ride in Scott’s latest high-speed toy. She’d been wanting to take it for a spin since well before Jubilee had gone missing, and with Scott and Jean out on vacation for a few days, it had been the perfect opportunity to liberate it from its dark, cramped living quarters in the garage and see what it was capable of.
It was sleek and red and fast, and she had laughed into the wind, her hair flying behind her as she took it through its paces, accelerating and down-shifting around the tight banks along a stretch of road they used for defensive driving training.
She was still grinning as she pulled into the garage, trying to smooth the tangle of hair with her fingers as she hopped over the side. She wiped the smudge of a fingerprint off the handle with one glove and leaned back over to fetch the keys from the ignition. She had needed that, she thought, still smiling as she strolled over to the lock box to restore the keys to their proper position. Rogue shut and fastened the door to the lock box and jumped straight up as Logan’s face appeared behind it.
“Jesus!” she said, lowering herself back down to the polished concrete floor. “Didn’t hear you come in, Logan.”
He snorted. “Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to scare ya.”
She waved away his apology and then froze as she realized this was the first time they’d been alone together since that last day at the house. Anything she had prepared ahead of time to say to him, vanished. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She frowned and tried to come up with something, anything to say to him.
He looked her, brows knit in confusion, possibly because she kept opening and closing her mouth. Then it had been too long for her to say anything constructive to him, so she just asked him the first thing that popped into her head.
“How was the weather in Costa Rica?” She couldn’t have cared less about the weather in Costa Rica.
He growled then, ran a hand through his hair. “Humid. Rainy. Miserable.”
“Huh,” she responded, apparently having exhausted her vocabulary on the topic of the weather.
“You really wanna talk ‘bout the weather in fuckin’ Costa Rica?” He asked her in a low voice, eyes searching hers. She inhaled sharply. Leave it to him to force this topic. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready for this conversation. But she knew it needed to happen. That if they didn’t at least talk about it, then their foundation of friendship and trust would never be the same.
“No,” she admitted softly. “I don’t.”
He grunted and jerked his head toward his bike. “How ‘bout a drink?”
She swallowed nervously and nodded back at him, “Yes,” she said simply. Alcohol. Yes. That would help.
“Come on,” he said as he headed over to the motorcycle, straddling it with one smooth movement of his long muscled legs. He motioned his head for her to sit behind him, as she’d done so many times before. And she steadied herself with a deep breath before striding over. He revved the engine as she moved in behind him, closing her eyes as she sat up straight, not sure where to put her hands anymore. He grunted, twisted one arm back to grab her hand and placed it around his waist. And Rogue slowly joined her left hand with her right, letting herself slump against the tall frame of his back, rubbing her cheek against his more usual, older brown leather jacket. It was familiar, comfortable. Something they’d done dozens of times before. But this time she felt charged. Changed. And maybe she was imagining it, but she thought she could feel the tension running through his muscles as she squeezed in close, clenching her thighs against his hips as they tore out of the mansion’s grounds and headed up route 121.
They passed The Rusty Lion, and Rogue smiled against his back as she realized where he was taking her. The Bull and Barrel. A dive with great food, excellent beer list, and a mechanical bull if you were feeling up for a challenge. She’d only ever ridden it once, shortly after her twenty second birthday, a few years before Carol. Logan had outright laughed at her when she’d been thrown just ten seconds in. She’d made him buy her a drink for laughing at her, and he’d helped her up off the mat, nodding as he signaled for another round.
They hadn’t been here together in a few years now. Not for any particular reason, she realized, but just because they’d both been busy with classes, missions, assignments. She was glad they were heading there now, it would be a comfortable place for both of them.
In the three months since she’d been gone, summer had started to fade. There was a crispness in the air now as the sun started to fall, and Rogue noticed the first tinges of gold in the trees and vines that edged the road.
The Bull and Barrel wasn’t far, just a short ten minute ride up the road, and before she knew it, Logan was slowing his bike as he turned into the lot, then walked them backward on the bike so the front was facing the exit. Just in case they needed to make a fast getaway.
She hopped off first, and he followed behind her as they entered the bar, and sought a booth in the back. She let him have the seat that faced the entrance, knowing he wouldn’t be able to relax otherwise.
A server with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes came over to take their order, and Rogue approved of his choice. “Whiskey. Bring the bottle. Two glasses.”
Thankfully, the waitress was quick, and Rogue didn’t have to try to find a space to rest her eyes for very long before she returned. She clanked the bottle and glasses down and hurried away with a, “Holler if ya need me.”
Logan reached out before she could to uncap the bottle and pour two generous portions in each of their slightly chipped, but clean tumblers. He grunted as he slid hers across to her and held up his glass in a toast. She grabbed eagerly for the glass, saluted back and they each downed their glass in a single gulp, Logan refilling their glasses for a second time without needing to be asked.
They downed that one too, and Logan refilled their glasses for a third time. But this time, neither of them moved to take another drink. Rogue felt the warmth of the alcohol running through her and sighed in appreciation of Logan’s instincts to bring them here.
He stared at her appraisingly as he thumbed the edge of the glass in one hand. She stared back at him overly conscious of the fact that she didn’t know what to do with her free hand. It was sitting on the table, twitching as she tried to decide what to do with it.
“Are you sorry we had sex?” she blurted out without warning. The instant the words left her mouth, she wanted to fly far, far away and never come back. Of all the things she could have said first, that was what her brain decided to go with?
He ran one hand through his hair and sighed. Then he looked down at her, jaw clenching hard, before he answered her. “Hell no,” he said quietly. “Are you?”
Her mouth opened, then closed. And she inhaled through her nose as she looked back into his eyes. “No,” she said simply, then downed her next drink. Logan followed suit and poured them both another refill. She sipped at this one, aware that if she kept up this pace, it would be a nasty ride back to the mansion.
Suddenly emboldened by the warmth of the whiskey spreading through her limbs from her belly, she bit one lip nervously as she said softly, “I enjoyed it.” She watched his nostrils flare, saw a flash of something wild and familiar cross his eyes. “A lot.”
His hands flexed and curled and he swallowed hard before nodding at her once. “Yeah. So did I.”
He downed his fourth shot and poured himself another glass. Rogue continued to sip at hers, knowing that she couldn’t compete with him. She’d try to pace herself against his drinking before and lost. Tragically.
“I’m sorry,” he began, then shook his head and cleared his throat. “If you didn’t.” He stopped again, then met her eyes. Blue to her green. “I didn’t ever want ta hurt ya.”
“I know that, Logan,” she responded quickly. It was important that he know that. “I know you didn’t.” Then she added, “I know you did everything you could to make it easier. So thank you for that.”
He snorted into his glass. “Don’t thank me for that, kid.”
They fell into a bit of an awkward silence. Having confessed how they felt about what had happened, they now needed to get over the next hurtle; what the hell they were going to do next.
“I talked with the firecracker the other night,” Logan said finally.
“Oh, yeah?” she offered, curious as to what Jubilee would have said to Logan.
“Told me I should stop bein’ an ass and talk to ya.”
Rogue laughed quietly and took another sip of the whiskey. “Sounds like Jubilee,” she smiled.
“So,” he continued slowly. “We’re talkin’.”
She frowned at him and tilted her head, curious at his tone. “Yes,” she said slowly, “We are.”
He rubbed one hand against rapidly against his jaw and downed another glass. “I’ve been talkin’ with Hank,” he said in a low voice.
Rogue couldn’t stand the tension he was putting off and threw back her glass, swallowing another mouthful of whiskey. This time, Rogue reached out to fill their glasses.
“Thanks,” he grunted at her, throwing back another shot. “Rogue,” he started, then shook his head. “No. Marie.”
And she stopped moving, stopped breathing. He’d only ever called her by her real name in really serious situations. If he was saying it now, there was something he needed her to understand.
“Hank made somethin’ for me. A device. I thought,” he said as he reached inside his jeans pocket, “That you should have it. If ya want.”
He slid the small box across the worn and sticky table where it finally rested next to her tumbler full of of whiskey. She could feel nervousness flooding through her, making her feel dizzy. Or maybe that was the whiskey. “What is it?” she asked, her eyes searching his for an explanation.
“Open it,” he said shortly.
Rogue reached across the table with one hand and broke open the small cardboard box. Inside was a small circlet of metal, shining against the plain brown box, just the right size to fit around her wrist. She frowned, picked it up, and held it close. It looked like a miniature version of the inhibitor collar she’d worn at the camps and at the house.
She felt her breath leave her body as she realized the enormity of the gesture in front of her.
“Ya don’t need it. I don’t need it,” he started awkwardly, “But if you want it, keep it.”
“Logan,” she said in a hushed voice. “Is it...real? It’ll work?”
He nodded, tossing back another drink and filling his glass again. “It is. It will.”
She didn’t know what to do. What to say. He’d just given her the most incredible gift she ever could have thought to receive. But what she didn’t know, was why? Was he giving it to her as an apology? Because he wanted to pursue something with her? Because he felt sorry for her? What?
The music playing in the bar was the only thing she heard for several seconds. Logan was frozen in front of her, eyes fixed on hers, clearly trying to figure out what she was thinking, just as she was trying to figure out him.
She sat back in the booth, picked up the bracelet and flipped the small switch to release the locking mechanism. She ran her gloved fingers over the smooth metal, wondering at the power which was contained within it.
Could he really mean it? Could he want to pursue something more with her? Did she want the same?
Her mind raced as she considered her options, all of the possibilities in front of her, and what it could mean. She smiled then, closing the opening around her left wrist, feeling that same tingling running through her body.
“Come here, sugar.”
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