Rogue stood just outside the glass windows of the medbay, hand pressed against the barrier, watching Hank and Jean as they reviewed Jubilee’s vitals, checked the bandages, and adjusted her pillows. In the two weeks since they’d liberated the four houses and associated training camps, Rogue hadn’t yet been able to speak to Jubilee. She’d been unconscious at first, then Hank had put her in a medically induced coma to allow her body to heal. Today was the first day she was awake, taken out of it slowly as Hank and Jean had determined she was no longer at risk of damaging effects from her head trauma.
She waited impatiently for them to finish checking her friend over, knowing it was necessary, but also needing to see her for herself. Reassure her that she was really here. And if not okay, then at least alive. She needed to speak to her. Apologize and tell her how sorry she was for what had happened.
Rogue had been trying to keep busy in the weeks that had passed since she’d been back at the mansion. She’d undergone a thorough debriefing with Scott and the Professor, trying to leave out as much of the physical details of her interactions with Logan as possible. But she had a feeling they were able to fill in the gaps of her report for themselves. They’d seen the files from the houses, they knew what happened inside them.
She’d declined a physical from Hank, ensuring him that Logan had given her some of his healing, and she was unharmed. Physically at any rate. He’d merely given her a discrete, “Hmm,” but had allowed her to leave without trying to convince her to undergo the standard tests after a lengthy mission.
She’d been at the house for nearly two months. Three weeks at the training center. Another two weeks of trying to find a lead. She felt like she’d lost so much time. That things had changed around her while she’d been out of commission, and she didn’t quite know how to fit back into her old life. She tried to get back into her routines - to lead the advanced sparring classes, to resume her own training sessions in the Danger Room. She felt a need to remind herself of what she was capable of, of the depths of her strength and abilities. To shed the feeling of being caged, of being made to perform, of being constantly degraded and demoralized. To revert control over her body and actions.
She hadn’t seen Logan. Not since they’d taken down the house together, freeing the mutants, getting them to safety, smashing the place down on the heads of the handlers. She had enjoyed every last second of destroying the place, of watching Logan slice through the doors, snarling as he took on the handlers. She’d done her own damage too, more than her fair share. But then, after their extraction was complete, he’d left on another assignment. Costa Rica this time, she thought.
Rogue wasn’t sure if she was grateful or annoyed at him for taking off so soon. It was absolutely typical for him to avoid talking to her after what they’d been through. When it came down to it, she didn’t blame him. She couldn’t. If she could have, she would have done the same thing. She needed time to process what had happened between them, how they had reacted to each other, how it had changed their dynamic.
How she had never felt anything so good before.
She shook her head to clear the thought from her mind. What’s done was done. They both had to move on from it, get past it. They had to learn how to be around each other again for the good of the team. If that meant he needed to take some time away, then so be it. She’d work through her feelings her own way; drilling the students in combat, setting the Danger Room session to dangerous levels, and reminding herself of what everything had been for.
Finally, Hank motioned her inside. They’d wrapped up their examination of Jubilee. Rogue surged forward, opening the door impatiently and striding over toward the bed. Jean smiled kindly at her on her way out, and Rogue was left with Hank and Jubilee together.
“Not too long, Rogue,” Hank said quietly as he rested one hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “She still needs a lot of rest.”
“Thanks, Hank,” she nodded. “I’ll keep it short.”
She waited for Hank to leave until she let her eyes settle on Jubilee. She moved to Jubilee’s right as she did so, clenching her jaw and fighting back the sting of tears as she took in the damage. She wouldn’t cry. Not in front of her. She reached out slowly with one gloved hand to take Jubilee’s in hers. She squeezed it gently.
“Hey,” Rogue murmured as she smiled at her friend.
Jubilee raised on corner of her lip in what Rogue knew was a smile back. “Hey, chica.” Her voice was hoarse and rough sounding, probably raw from the breathing tube she’d had inserted. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but...” Jubilee said slowly and Rogue felt the smile on her face freeze as she braced herself for the worst. That Jubilee didn’t want her here, that she was still mad at her. That she never wanted to see her again.
“...you look like shit,” Jubilee finished with a spark in her unswollen eye.
Rogue let out a snort of laughter and squeezed her friend’s hand tighter for a moment before releasing it as she sat back in the chair next to the bed. She took a moment to look at the full extent of the damage. Her right ankle was in a cast, and three of the four fingers on her left hand were in splints. Her face was a mottled combination of fading bruises and swelling, her left eye just now opening as the edema subsided. She had heavy bandages on both legs, and minor cuts and scrapes that had a nasty sort of orange ointment smeared on them.
“Hey,” Jubilee said as she saw Rogue taking inventory. “You cry on me and we are finished.”
She laughed again, but sobered quickly. “Jubes,” she began quietly. “I am so, so sorry.”
Jubilee didn’t speak, but glared at her with her good eye, appraising her for a moment. “You’re kidding, right?”
Rogue shook her head, opened her mouth to speak, but Jubilee cut her off.
“You saved me, Rogue. You got me the hell out of that shithole. You freed more than a hundred mutants. And you’re apologizing? What the hell for?”
“But-” Rogue started, so sure that Jubilee would remember. But maybe she couldn’t, maybe the head trauma had affected her memory. “-we had a fight, I was supposed to be with you that night. It was my fault.”
Jubilee waved her good hand in dismissal. “If we hadn’t had that stupid fight - hey, do you even remember what it was about? ‘Cause I don’t - then you would’ve been with me, sure. But you could’ve been taken too. Then where the hell would we be? Probably still in some fucked up training center, and not laughing about how terrible you look.”
Rogue wasn’t ready to absolve herself. Jubilee’s injuries were too severe for her to just remove all of the self-blame she’d been building up over the past three months. “But look what they did to you,” she said softly.
“Rogue, you think for one second I was gonna let one of those asshats touch me? They coulda sent me back to the training camps a thousand more times, and I wouldn’t have rolled over.”
Jubilee sighed and lay back into the bed. Rogue got up to leave, knowing that she needed to let her rest. She reached out with one gloved hand to brush some of her spiky black hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss her lightly and briefly on the cheek, just fast enough so there would be no danger of her skin springing to life. “Get some rest, Jubes. We need you back on the team. I need you back.”
Jubilee smiled and Rogue turned to leave. Just as she got to the door though, her next words stopped her in her tracks. “Oh, and Rogue? Don’t think that we’re not gonna have a long-ass conversation about what you and Wolvie did tryin’ to find me.”
Rogue felt her shoulders tense at the mention of Logan, but let them fall in resignation and nodded. Jubilee deserved to know, and maybe, she needed to tell someone exactly what she’d gone through. “Once you’re outta here and can go toe to toe with me in the Danger Room, I’ll spill the beans.”
“But, Rooooggueeee,” Jubilee whined. “I’m so injured.” She pretended to cough several times until Rogue laughed and gave in.
“Fine! When Hank and Jean give you the all clear to get out of here. And not one second before!” Rogue said quickly as Jubilee started to protest. “Maybe that’ll inspire you to get well faster, you layabout.”
“Deal, chica. Now, go get some sleep,” she said quietly as she closed her eyes. “I wasn’t lying when I said you looked like shit.”
____
Jubilee was released from the medbay twenty four days later. And for twenty four days, she had continued to try and finagle details from Rogue about what had happened to her and Logan. Rogue kept denying her friend, not only because she’d said she wouldn’t fill her in on the details until she was given the final okay from Hank, but because she still wasn’t quite sure how she was going to talk about it.
Rogue was in the Danger Room, just ending another punishing session when the program stalled in front of her. She’d been in the middle of launching herself up to decapitate a sentinel and froze, looking around to see what had happened.
Jubilee came strolling in, the boot on her right ankle giving her a pronounced limp, waving wildly to where Rogue was hovering in mid-air.
Rogue huffed out an exasperated breath. She knew her time was up.
“Yoo hoo, chica! Get your sweaty ass into the shower. We’re going out.”
She rolled her eyes, but smiled as she drifted back down smoothly to the ground. “Fine,” she said exasperatedly. “You win. Where are we goin’?”
Jubilee grinned. “I don’t know about you, but I could use one hell of a big drink.”
When Jubilee had suggested they headed down to The Rusty Lion, Rogue hesitated. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back in there after what they’d both been through. But Jubilee hadn’t relented. She’d insisted that the bar was just a place, and it wasn’t its fault those two assholes had scoped it out as a location to traffic mutants. “Besides,” Jubilee had continued, “that bartender makes a mean Manhattan.”
“Alright,” Rogue conceded as she finished putting on a pair of silver hoop earrings.
“Yay!” Jubilee exclaimed. “You’re drivin,’” she said smiling as she waggled her booted foot back at Rogue.
Three Manhattans in, and Rogue finally felt her inhibitions falling away enough to start telling Jubilee about what had happened. She didn’t leave out anything, and Jubilee let her talk without interrupting, just signaling Ashley for three more drinks as she continued her story. Rogue told her about her search to find a lead into her disappearance, about letting herself be drugged, about the discovery of the inhibitor collar technology when she’d been in the training camp, the horrible degrading experiences of the camps, the Parades, her initial horror at seeing Logan turn up at the house. When she realized what they were going to have to do to allow her to remain under cover. Then, quietly, confessing how much she’d liked it. How good it had felt, in spite of everything else. How the last time, they hadn’t been able to stop themselves, knowing it was all about to be over.
Rogue downed the last of her drink and blinked slowly at the empty glass. When had she finished this one? She had just gotten a fresh drink from Ashley a second ago.
Jubilee let out a low whistle and then she polished off her own drink. “Well, chica,” she said kindly, “I think you are probably the bravest, stupidest, and best friend I could ever ask for.”
“Oh, gee. Thanks,” Rogue snorted sarcastically as she continued to peer down into her empty glass.
“Nah, I mean it, Rogue. Brave,” Jubilee said holding up one finger and blinking slowly at it, “‘Cause you put yourself in danger for me. Risked your own life to save me. Stupidest,” she continued holding up a second finger and waving it in Rogue’s face, “because you put yourself in danger for me.” Rogue laughed and shoved her fingers down with one gloved hand. “And threeee,” Jubilee stated dramatically, “Wait, I mean best!” and brought up a third finger in her other hand, “Best because you put yourself in danger for me.”
The two of them laughed loudly and sat back in their booth, overcome by hilarity driven by alcohol.
“Ha, seriously though Rogue,” Jubilee said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Let’s talk more about being the stupidest.” Her tone had sobered, and Rogue sat up, not quite sure she wanted to hear what was next.
“You talk to Wolvie about all this?”
Rogue shook her head. “There wasn’t time,” she said as she twirled the stem of her glass between her hands. There really hadn’t been, she reflected. After they’d liberated the house and seen to the safety of the other mutants, they’d been extracted via the jet and headed back to Westchester. They’d both been debriefed separately, and the next morning Logan had taken another assignment and was gone.
“You mean ‘cause of all the sexy screwing you two were doing?” Jubilee asked her, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face.
Rogue knew Jubilee was teasing her, but she just shook her head. “It didn’t feel right...to talk about it then. And after we got back, he left for that assignment in Costa Rica.” She shrugged then, trying to pull off a lightness she didn’t feel. “Haven’t heard from him.”
Jubilee narrowed her eyes, “Hmm. Well, chica. I say that if you wanna talk about it, then I’m here for you. Especially if you’re gonna share some of the finer details of what that was like.” She dodged Rogue’s half-hearted swipe at her and held up her hands in surrender. “Seriously, Rogue. You need me? I’m here for you. You need to work out some of this obviously pent up sexual frustration in the Danger Room? Do it. But, you and Wolvie are gonna need to have a chat when he gets back. To clear the air if nothing else.”
She signed, resigned to the truth in Jubilee’s words, and nodded. She suddenly felt way too sober for the amount of rye whiskey she’d consumed tonight.
“Ladies,” Ashley said coming over to their booth with the impeccable timing Rogue had started to associate him with. “Anything else I can get for you? Another round?”
“How about it, chica. One more drink?”
“Sure,” Rogue said smiling back at her friend. “Lord knows we both deserve it.”
“Comin’ right up,” Ashley responded quickly as he stepped back over to the bar. He called them a ride after they finished their last drink. And they stumbled inside the car together, laughing over nothing in particular, as they made their way back home, Rogue feeling lighter than she had in weeks.
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