The wagons rolled on; the people plodded along away from the dust that was kicked up. Rebecca was walking with some of the other women which thankfully gave Marie time to think. After two days of not traveling, she’d forgotten the way the dust from the prairie settled on everything. It wasn’t as much as before but it was still enough to cover her from head to toe.
Logan had helped her slip into the camp the night before so that she wouldn’t be noticed. She had a new appreciation for his quiet way of walking. Following behind him, she’d found it all too easy to be silent too. It made her aware of how loud she was as she went about her daily business and she had decided to try copying his carefulness. Maybe with some practice, she could be as quiet, it might prove to be a useful skill.
He hadn’t stopped for breakfast in the morning, though she had to admit leftover biscuits and bacon weren’t exactly a big draw when they ate it almost every morning. When he did stop it was only long enough to greet her and grab a cup of coffee before leaving.
Sighing, she knew she was putting too much thought into it. Logan had done no courting nor expressed any feelings for her. In fact, he’d started to tell her last night that they shouldn’t lay down together. It had been her, with her head full of lustful ideas that had spread her legs for him. So much for her virtue, her mother would laugh bitterly if she knew about Marie’s indiscretion. Really she should have known better; she smiled, not regretting it in the least.
Since she first saw him, she knew he was different. The scouts had come into camp the evening after they’d crossed the Missouri. It was something cousin Nathaniel had arranged ahead of time. Everyone had crowded around the fire to hear about the trail and what would be expected. The talk had continued late into the evening long after their meal had ended and the cooking utensils were put away. She had found herself like everyone else lingering at the dying fire to get every morsel of information.
Now she could admit it had been Logan’s presence that kept her there. He hadn’t spoken a single word to her but it was the way that he looked at her that drew her attention. The first glance was the assessing look he gave everyone. It was when their eyes bet that something deep inside her awakened for the first time.
His eyes always met hers, not like other men who looked at her breast, or lower, first. It was as if he’d judged her and found her to be worthy. She hesitated to think it but the only word that felt right was mate. She was a worthy mate for him and that thought had excited her to no end.
The fact that he was a scout made no difference to her. Her mother’s opinion mattered little for she only valued fancy dinner parties and extravagant dresses. Things Marie herself could admire but didn’t set store by. The opinion that mattered to her was her father’s. She knew he liked Logan, but she had as of yet not sought out his true opinion, something she should do.
After the mid-day nooning, Marie walked with her father as he led the oxen. They were silent for some distance as she thought through what she wanted to say. Her father had been a constant, steady influence in her life as she’d grown older. A relationship she wished she shared with her mother, but that had changed some years ago when her mother became obsessed with Marie marrying well.
Her father had filled the void and had become a trusted advisor on navigating the world. He respected her privacy, but never hesitated to let her know the harsh realities of life outside what had been a comfortable existence in the South. She was confident he would be honest with her now.
The only stumbling block was how to start this conversation with him. She opened her mouth then closed it, wondering how not to sound desperate. This was the most difficult thing she’d ever done. What if she was wrong about Logan’s feelings and she’d simply been a pleasant diversion?
Their attention was drawn to a rider passing the wagons. It was Logan, and he tipped his hat as he went by and she couldn’t help but watch the muscles of his back move underneath the buckskin shirt. Not until she could no longer see him did she turn back to her father.
His face was lit up with amusement. “He’s a good man,” he said seriously. When she failed to answer he went on, “He’ll be a good provider.”
“Papa,” she admonished, trying to divert from the fact she’d been caught staring.
“Oh, don’t play coy, Marie,” he laughed lightly. “I have noticed the way in which you hand him his plate and cup.”
She felt the flush turn her face red in a way the day’s heat couldn’t. It had been a small secret delight for her that Logan touched her hand when she gave him his supper. His strong agile fingers brushing up against hers underneath the plate had warmed her heart. Over time, that warmth spread elsewhere as the intensity of his gaze increased.
Once again she was left to wonder if despite her feelings that Logan had gotten what he wanted from her. That all the looks and touches had been for one purpose only and she’d fallen for it.
Her father took her hand and squeezed it gently. “Don’t worry so my dear, he’ll come to his senses soon.”
Suddenly she was afraid her absence the other night hadn’t gone unnoticed and that maybe her father had seen Logan sneak her back to her blankets under the wagon. Surely he wouldn’t be so nonchalant about his daughter being with a man alone at night. No, her father wouldn’t have left that unchallenged if he had known.
Marie swallowed the lump in her throat. “What do you mean, Papa?” she asked. Maybe they already had an understanding or arrangement of sorts about her future.
“When Logan looks at you, I see a man trying to make a decision.” She nodded in understanding. It was nothing formal or even spoken but something a father could see. Her father continued, “Most girls would have a bundle made up by now.”
Her father must be fairly certain to bring that up. His confidence in the situation gave her hope. Maybe everything wasn’t as one-sided as she feared.
“Be sure when he asks,” her father said seriously. “The life he wants will be difficult.”
It was her turn to laugh, “Starting over in Oregon isn’t?”
“It’s not the same,” he said, glancing at her. “In Oregon, you’d be with family and the hard physical labor will be done by others. With him…,” he trailed off to let her think over the rest on her own.
She imagined that much of it would be like now with the good and bad mixed, but she would be with him and that would make all the difference. On impulse, she kissed her father on the cheek. “Thank you, Papa.”
The gentle smile she always associated with her father appeared. “Anytime, my dear.”
As Marie turned away from the wagon to walk along and think, she spied her mother. Her face was barely visible among the piled up goods but the look was unmistakable. Her mouth was set in an extreme line of disapproval, her eyes held an odd calculating feel that left Marie on edge. Unfortunately, Marie knew there was little she could say or do to change her mother’s mind about Logan.
The next two days passed slowly for Logan. Things went on much as before with days full of activity and nights of exhausted sleep. Now however at night he wished he had Marie in his arms, to know she would be by his side the rest of his life.
During the day he tried to keep busy, but thoughts of her continued to invade more than before. Several times he’d attempted to talk with her, yet she was never alone when he could stop. The one time he rode out to where she walked by herself, he saw the desire in her eyes and had to ride away. They needed to talk and having sexual thoughts of her wouldn’t help in a discussion.
Everything he did during those two days made him think of how he could be doing it for her, for their home and future. In the end, there was only one thing that was proper for the society her family circulated in. He would approach her parents tomorrow and ask for her hand.
At the nooning of the third day after the hollow, he rode in to talk. He accepted the coffee and cold salted pork, Marie’s fingers brushed his as she handed him the plate. The slightest touch from her was all he needed to harden his resolve in this pursuit, though it was best to keep this talk as private as possible. He waited impatiently, listening to the idle conversation around the small fire, biding his time.
Logan waited again as everyone drifted away and readied their wagons to start on the trail once more. Taking the reins of his horse, he approached the D’Ancanto’s family wagon. Her parents were at the front and he could sense Marie at the back putting items away.
Letting one of his horse’s reins drag on the ground, he stepped forward, hat in hand. “Mr. D’Ancanto, Mrs. D’Ancanto, if I could have a moment of your time?” he asked, feeling more at ease than he had the right to. He supposed it was all those afternoons in the parlor at his own parent’s house practicing etiquette that relaxed him.
“Yes, Logan, what can we do for you?” Mr. D’Ancanto replied. Though Mr. D’Ancanto was being pleasant, he would be a fool not to notice Mrs. D’Ancanto’s disinterested demeanor.
“Sir, Ma’am, I would like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” It wasn’t exactly like he’d practiced in his head, but it was proper enough for the circumstances.
A broad smile erupted on Mr. D’Ancanto’s face. He was bringing his hand up to extend for Logan to shake when Mrs. D’Ancanto exploded, “No!” The shrill cry could probably be heard by any of the people in the surrounding wagons.
It sounded like something dropped in the back of the D’Ancanto wagon. From the corner of his eye, Logan saw Marie peek out around the back edge, but he didn’t turn to look at her. He had started this, and he needed to see it through to the bitter end.
Without warning, Mrs. D’Ancanto struck him across the face. “No disreputable ruffian such as yourself is even deserving to be in the mere presence of my daughter.” Mr. D’Ancanto caught her arm before she could strike Logan a second time.
“Logan, please accept my apologies,” Mr. D’Ancanto huffed, struggling to contain his wife’s fury.
“Sir,” Logan said stepping back and replacing his hat. He no longer felt the sting of the slap, but the wound to his pride was different.
Grabbing the reins to his horse, he swung into the saddle. There, at the end of the wagon stood Marie, hand over her mouth. He thought he could smell the tear sliding down her cheek. Even now despite her mother’s hostility, he wanted Marie to be his.
Turning his horse, he cantered off toward the front of the wagons, blocking out the sharp sound of Mrs. D’Ancanto’s voice. He should have known better than to ever try to step foot back into high society. Marie was worth the effort but he would not be responsible for creating a rift in the family.
Marie felt her heart ride away with Logan. She knew her mother wasn’t pleased but with what she had just done… there was little chance of her marrying Logan. In fact, she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she would not see him again.
Her attention was drawn back to her parents. For a moment she thought her father might hit her mother however his fists remained clenched at his sides. Though when he spoke his voice held a deadly edge, one that she had never heard before. “Woman, get in that wagon or I will get a branch to switch you with and leave you here in this precise location.”
He simply walked away from her mother, even as her mother chastised him for talking to her in such a fashion. Yet when the wagon lurched forward as the oxen started her mother scrambled to get on. Only then did Marie realize that Rebecca was next to her trying to gently pull her from the scene.
That evening the meal was fixed in silence, Marie to heartbroken to say much and her father was still angry. Her mother stayed in the wagon where no one dared to disturb her and her father refused to let anyone take her a plate of food. Back before they left the South life had always been amiable enough, and she had to wonder if that was due to her father’s easygoing nature and that life had presented few challenges to her mother.
Marie had known her mother had high expectations for her marriage and whom she considered a suitable partner and whom Marie thought to be of good quality were two different things. In spite of that, she’d always believed they would find common ground and things would be ironed out. This though, the way her mother had treated Logan, was beyond anything she ever expected her to do and it could just be excused away as the stress of the trail.
What little talk took place around the fire dealt with the rising storm and if the rain would last into tomorrow and her father had wandered away before he was finished. She was lost in her own thoughts and didn’t care if they had to stay put for a week because of rain. Logan hadn’t shown for supper and she couldn’t blame him, but she longed for the secret touching and the longing looks he sent her way. Apparently, her mother had successfully driven him off. Marie had never realized that something could hurt as badly as the situation today and the subsequent aftermath.
The sky was full of dark rumbling clouds with lightning flashing in the distance. It seemed to reflect her mood perfectly. All that was needed now was a downpouring of rain.
At the back of the wagon, she quietly pulled at her bedding trying to be purposefully silent as to not have to deal with her mother. Next to her bedding was the bundle of clothing she had put together after talking to her father the other day. Pulling it out instead, she thought she should take care of it; she doubted if she would need it now.
The oddest sensation filled her like someone was watching her. She turned around to find Logan, some distance from the wagons, observing her. He stood there tall as ever, shoulders squared; his horse and pack animal cropping grass nearby.
Panic rose in her, he was leaving. In the flash of light, she could see that same intense look he always had for her. When he took a step toward her, she dropped her bundle and ran to him. Afraid that he was only here to say goodbye, she drew up short, leaving the last step untaken. She desperately wanted to throw herself at him, but couldn’t bear the thought of being rejected. Again, she eyed his animals, his horse was saddled, the other loaded for travel.
“You’re leaving,” she stated as there was no doubt in her mind.
“It’s for the best,” he replied. Reaching out he wound a stray lock of her hair around his finger. “There’s a priest at a mission up North.” This was the only offer he could make her, the only thing left for him.
Logan wanted to tell her how he felt but his pride still hurt and he didn’t know if he could take any more damage today. Her coming to him gave him hope, as did her father’s brief declaration, not a half-hour ago as he prepared his horses. But her next words were more important than anything else.
The only answer he received was her throwing herself at him in a tight embrace. He pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent. There had never been anyone in his life that he needed like he needed Marie. The tension drained from his body and he felt confident in her feelings for him. “Love you, Marie,” he mumbled.
“I love you too,” she whispered. “I’ll go anywhere with you.”
Bending down, he brushed his lips across hers. He wished only to lose himself in her arms, but they would have miles to go before they could rest tonight. They could spare a moment so he could kiss her soft mouth, even though he knew they’d be interrupted.
“Ahem,” came a low clearing of someone’s throat behind them.
Marie broke the kiss knowing exactly who was behind them. She felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment at being discovered by her father. What would she tell him? Her father was still upset with her mother, would he now be disappointed with Marie herself since nothing had been settled from earlier.?
She clung to Logan, finding strength in his unyielding firmness. Turning she felt his hand reassuringly at her back and everything seemed to click into place. Staying with Logan was the right decision for her life.
Yet to her surprise her father stood quietly with the reins of one of the family’s mares in his hand. The horse had been saddled and the bundle of clothing she’d dropped moments earlier and her bedding roll were being secured behind the saddle by her cousin Nathaniel. Rebecca was there too, adding a food packet to the saddlebags.
Marie opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say. Rebecca quickly gave her a hug as Nathaniel shook Logan’s hand. The two walked away toward their wagon when Marie’s father approached.
“Papa, I…” Marie paused looking to the wagon where her mother would still be sulking.
“It’s fine, Marie. Your mother will have many months yet on the trail to see the error of her way.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “She’s a stubborn woman, but she loves you.”
Stepping back, she nodded letting a tear slip down her cheek. Her father brushed it away. “There, there, my dear, none of that.”
“I love you, Papa,” she declared.
He quietly laughed, “I’ve never doubted it. When he saw her look at the wagon again, he added, “She knows, but I will remind her.”
“Thank you,” Marie said, kissing his cheek.
“Now,” her father began eyeing Logan. “I expect you to take good care of my daughter.”
“I understand, sir,” Logan answered and Marie realized the two men must have talked at some point earlier in the evening.
Logan couldn’t express the gratitude he felt for Mr. D’Ancanto seeking him out earlier. He’d been prepared to ride way alone, to aimlessly drift. Now though, he was laying out plans for a future with Marie. An understanding between himself and her father would make this easier for Marie too.
“You know where to find us in Oregon?” Mr. D’Ancanto asked.
“Yes, sir. I know the place.” Logan glanced at Marie and thought he could sense her nervousness. “We’ll be visiting next year.”
“Ah, good man,” her father said, extending his hand to Logan a final time. After shaking hands, Mr. D’Acanto kissed Marie on the cheek, turning over the reins and sauntered off whistling an old favorite tune.
The thunder rolled again, grass blowing in the wind ahead of it, and Logan held the stirrup for her to mount. “We best be going.”
He heard her heart skip a beat at the way he’d emphasized we and a large smile spread across her face. Putting her foot in the stirrup, she placed a kiss on his sideburn before swinging up into the saddle. It was an excellent sign that she was on board with a new life with him. Mounting his horse, Marie rode alongside him without a backward glance.
They had many a mile to cover in the coming days to make it to that mission up North. Yet he wouldn’t have it any other way. Logan would use the time wisely to get to know Marie better and assure her she was in good hands and that she’d made the right choice.
~*~
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