Logan woke with a contented sigh, his arms full of warm, satisfied woman. He wound a strand of silky dark hair around his fingers, as he relaxed to the sound of her gentle heartbeat. He supposed he should feel guilty about last night, she was legal but she was still very young, little more than a child, if you could consider a girl who had been living on the road alone for nine months to be a child.
But the more he thought about the situation the more he found it just felt right, like she was his, and he was hers. He hadn't felt like that in a long time, too long. That thought sent a brief flicker of pain through what had been his heart. He had tried to bury that a long time ago, and for a while had thought he really had lost it. Somehow this little woman had unburied it and given it a jumpstart.
Marie shifted in her sleep then, nuzzling sleepily into the crook of his neck, she smiled into his skin a moment later and softly kissed the side of his neck before pulling back to look up at him with a soft smile. "Morning," she whispered.
"Morning darlin," Logan replied softly, running a finger down her cheek. "How you feeling?"
"Fantastic," she replied, "Still tired but not sleepy, just want to stay like this."
"You're not sore?" Logan asked seriously.
"...Not really," Marie replied, after briefly scrunching up her nose as she considered how she was feeling. "Definitely not enough not to want to do it all again," she added cheekily.
Logan chuckled as he pulled her closer and buried his face in her soft hair. "As tempting as that sounds darlin we should really take it slow, no need to rush." He held her close as a nearly forgotten memory surfaced, of the last time he had held a woman like this.
A moment later Marie spoke softly, as her arms moved around him to hold him tighter, "What's wrong Logan? You got all tense..."
"... Just memories Marie. You feel this too don't you, you feel this is right?" Logan asked quietly into her hair, refusing to move to meet her eyes, he relaxed a little as he felt her smile against him again.
"It sure does, and I sure do, I- I love you Logan, I don't know when it happened, or how it happened, all I know is I do, and I don't ever want to lose you," she finished her statement in a barely audible whisper, and Logan felt her tense as she shared her thoughts.
"Feeling's mutual darlin," Logan replied, and placed another kiss on the top of her head.
"So, I have a question," Marie suddenly stated, moving back to look at him again. "And seeing as how you know the extent of my uh, experience, I think it's only fair you answer."
Logan raised an eyebrow at her, just a little caught off guard by her determined attitude. "Ask away, I'll answer if I can," he replied honestly.
"You said last night that you hadn't been with 'that many' women. How many is 'that many'?" Marie asked, a genuinely curious smile on her face.
Logan shifted uncomfortably. "You really sure you want to know about that?"
"Yes," Marie replied with a cheeky grin.
"Well, I can really only comment with any degree of certainty on the last twenty-ish years, which would be... four, in total," he answered.
"Four?" Marie repeated, in surprise.
"Yep, four," Logan confirmed, seeing the further questions in Marie's eyes he volunteered further information. "The first one was one of those desperate barfly types, the animal side of me was still pretty strong and it just wanted a release that wasn't fighting. The second was a one-nighter too but a, well, she was a teacher, she was... it's hard to explain, she was nice, caring, it was different, something that both the animal and I could agree felt good, better than the first time, more of a connection I guess but she didn't want anything more. The third, shit, the third was my first and hopefully last bad experience," Logan chuckled darkly, "I sort of settled down one winter, found some odd jobs in this small town to keep a roof over my head. I was staying with an older couple in exchange for doing some maintenance and improvements on their house, fixing stuff the husband hadn't got to before he'd had a stroke and installing a wheelchair ramp for him, stuff like that, in exchange they basically gave me the entire upstairs of their home to live in, and three hot meals a day.
“I met this woman at a bar one night went back to her place, it became a regular thing over the next week, we'd meet up at the bar, have a few drinks, go back to her place. Then one night she said she had her son staying at her place so we should go to my place instead, I stupidly did that. After a week I realised it was almost like she'd moved herself in, without even asking, then she started causing trouble with the old couple, and she kept dropping hints about 'they should be in a home'. Turned out she thought they were my parents was trying to convince me to put them in a rest home so she could move into their house. I bumped into another guy at the bar one night who approached me and said she'd tried the same thing on him, and he knew of at least two other guys she'd done a similar thing to too. She'd stay in a relationship long enough to get access to their assets and then screw them over for everything she could get through the Courts. I told her to get out that night, ended up having to get the cops around to get her out when she went psycho, I fixed up the damage she'd done to the house before the cops turfed her out, then skipped town myself." Logan went quiet, though he obviously found the memory amusing in hindsight.
When he didn't say anything else after a while Marie softly asked, "What about the fourth?"
A cloud passed over Logan's face then, a sadness but it was accompanied by acceptance. He didn't speak for a moment.
"Her name was Sarah," he eventually started, "After that last disaster I decided to be a little more careful, I wanted something with a connection but with the right woman. I met Sarah almost the same way I met you actually, she was nineteen and was 'going on an adventure' before she went off to college. Her car had broken down, and as I drove passed all I could see was this cute little jean-short clad butt poking out as she was leaned into the engine bay. I pulled up to give her a hand but nothing could be done on the side of the road, the fix was going to need parts, so I towed her into the next town. She thanked me, offered me money, when I wouldn't take that she asked if I would let her at least buy me lunch while the mechanic looked over the car. I caved in the end and we had lunch together, and then I went on my way.
"About a week later we bumped into each other again in a bar, hung out together and then went on our own way again. Same thing the next day, then a couple of days later same thing happened again, turned out we were headed in roughly the same direction. Then one night she didn't turn up at the next town, so I stayed to see what was taking her so long, she didn't show the next night either and I started to get worried, so I doubled back to see if I could figure out where she'd gone. Her car had broken down again. That time it was something that couldn't be fixed at all so, I offered her a ride, seeing as how we were heading in the same direction anyway. She accepted, we set out and just kind of stuck together, didn't realise how long it had been until we ended up back in her home town a couple of months later, and she went back home to get ready to start college. I moved on again once I'd dropped her home, lasted four months before I turned around and hightailed it back to her, I'd missed her a lot.
"When I arrived, I could tell straight away something was wrong, she'd been diagnosed with cancer. She'd dropped out of college because the treatment was making her so weak and sick. She told me how much she'd missed me just being there to talk to, she asked if I would stick around for a while, until she'd finished the round of treatment. I didn't even think about it, just said yes straight away - the smile she gave me right then, made it all worth it. After a week, her mom turned up at her house, she walked straight up to me and gave me a hug and thanked me for being there for Sarah and telling me how happy she'd been since I arrived. She went through about six months of chemo, and a couple of surgeries, but her mom was right, she was definitely happier than that first time I saw her again. Despite the drugs she got some colour back, she smiled all the time, even when she was too sick to move she'd just watch me with a smile on her face. She was in remission by the end of the treatment and she started to put weight back on, her hair grew back in, she came back to life again. She decided not to go back to college, said life was too short to waste time on such stressful pursuits. We were together for fourteen years... fourteen amazing years," Logan finally fell silent again, his eyes closed and a soft happy but sad smile on his face.
"What happened?" Marie asked softly.
"...The cancer came back," Logan said gently after a while, "She fought it for almost two years before she decided she couldn't fight it anymore, she couldn't stand the pain anymore, she asked me to let her go so she would know I would be okay without her... I told her I would be with her until the end but that end was hers to decide, I would support whatever decision she made... She stopped the treatment the next day, asked me to take her on an adventure just like we'd done that first time... She died a few months later... Three years ago... I tried to stay, after she died, until her mom came to me one night and told me I was miserable and everyone could tell. Said Sarah wouldn't expect me to hang around and feel sorry for myself, she'd released me, and I needed to respect her memory and let her go, let her rest now, and I couldn't do that while moping around the house, and around town, feeling sorry for myself. It was a relief when she said that, I felt like I could finally let go, no one would judge me for that, and I could move on. I left that night."
As he finished his tale he realised Marie was hugging him tightly, he could scent the salty tang of tears as she cried softly onto his chest. Gently he hugged her back, he had no tears left to cry on that topic, he had grieved Sarah years ago, but he appreciated the sentiment from Marie, that she felt enough for him to share what had been his pain. They lay in silence for a time just holding each other.
After a time Marie softly said, "So, you've been alone for three years?"
"Mmhmm," Logan replied, "When you've had something good like that, everything else is... too cheap," he told her, "I wanted more from a relationship than just sex but I wasn't ready to love anyone else like that again."
"... What about now?" Marie asked gently, after a pause, sounding concerned.
"Mmm, seems a sassy little brunette managed to find my cold dead heart and kick it back to life," he admitted, with a smile. "And I am never going to let her go," he added with a growl, pulling her back tight against him and pressing soft kisses against her throat and jawline before claiming her lips hungrily.
They broke away panting heavily and went back to just holding each other before Marie's stomach grumbled loudly, Logan's responding in kind. Marie burst into a fit of giggles, Logan chuckling in shared mirth.
"Well, the stomachs have spoken," he announced, throwing back the covers and rolling out of bed. It took him a minute to find his jeans, which he pulled on smoothly, throwing his discarded t-shirt to Marie who pulled it on before jumping out of bed.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning: Sad chapter. I didn't put a tag for character death because I didn't want to freak anybody out - don't worry, neither Logan or Marie die in this story - but this tearjerker of a chapter contains discussion of a character who is dead.