“Well, thank fuck Marie wasn’t on this one,” Logan grumbled, as he gave up trying to claw his way through the wall of rubble that cut him, and one of his teammates, off from the rest of the team. Glancing grudgingly toward the teammate he was currently trapped with, he grumbled some more under his breath; it had to be her...
Since Oliver and Caitlin had broken up after the abortion debacle three years before, Scott had been very careful to split the relevant parties up. Wolverine and Rogue were Beta team. Oliver, codename Fenrir, had been transferred to Alpha, now working alongside Rosalie, who went by the codename Eyra, and Nathan, whose codename was Shaman. Caitlin, codename Nox, was still on Gamma. For this mission however, due in part to several of the female members of various teams being on maternity leave, including both Marie and Rosalie, all three teams were merged, and somehow, through either coincidence or poor planning, he had ended up partnered with the living shadow that was Nox.
To top it off, she was injured, badly. He had made her as comfortable as he could, before he started trying to hack his way out, but he wasn’t sure if it would do much good. Part of him felt bad for the dark thoughts that drifted through his mind; she deserved it, he should just leave her, he should finish her off... Those thoughts hurt doubly because he really liked Caitlin, loved her even, as another daughter, he had taken under his wing when she had joined their family.
The whole situation was so fucked up, and he didn’t like that he was being forced to face it. Trapped in dusty darkness, the scent of blood thick in the air... and tears... Glancing back toward Caitlin, he noted she was watching him, sorrow in her eyes.
“I’m sorry you hate me,” Caitlin stated suddenly.
“I don’t hate you,” Logan replied gruffly.
“Yeah, you do,” she argued. God damn kid, stubborn to the very end.
“No, I don’t hate you, I hate what you did, you hurt so many people, you took a child away from a family, you took a lover away from my son, worse yet, you kept his heart... he loved you, probably more than you will ever know, and I don’t think he will ever love anyone fully, ever again,” Logan murmured. He wasn’t trying to make the girl feel like shit but he really needed to get this off his chest, just in case the team couldn’t get to them in time.
They sat in silence for several more minutes until Caitlin broke the silence again.
“I didn’t do it,” she barely whispered, so quietly Logan had to get her to repeat herself.
“Do what?” he asked in confusion.
“I didn’t have an abortion...” she clarified, tears falling freely. “I miscarried... at thirteen weeks, I started having cramps, I went to see the maternity doctor, and she couldn’t find the heartbeat...”
Logan stared at Caitlin in disbelief, trying to reconcile what she was saying. Had three years of anger and anguish been entirely misplaced.
“Why- why did you tell him you did, why did you let us think that?” he demanded.
“I let you all think it, maybe I was trying to convince myself... that it had been my choice... but it wasn’t,” Caitlin said as she began to sob, “I didn’t correct anyone... I felt like I deserved it, I deserved the hate... our baby died, inside of me, I was supposed to protect it, care for it, keep it healthy and strong... and I failed... if it was intentional I didn’t have to feel bad about it, but if it wasn’t... I would have to admit it was my fault.”
Logan moved closer to her, carefully gathering her fragile body in his arms. “Sweetheart, it was nobody’s fault, least of all yours... you shouldn’t have had to go through that alone, you should have told him, so you could mourn together... you should tell him, promise me- promise me, when we get back to base, you’ll tell him, you’ll take down the wall that’s been put up between you both,” he murmured softly, as he cradled the sobbing young woman.
He felt her shake her head, before she sadly replied, “I’m not making it out of here, I know it, you know it—”
“I know no such thing,” Logan interrupted forcefully. “You are going to make it, and I’m going to do everything in my power to see to that, don’t you dare give up on me, you hear, you don’t give up, you’ll get out of here, and you’ll tell him, you will.”
“Just in case I don’t,” Caitlin added, “Promise me you’ll tell him... I never stopped loving him, not even for a moment, he was my one and only, and I would never have been able to love anyone else either.”
“I’ll carve it on your damn tombstone if you fucking die on me kid,” Logan snapped irritably, before he settled the young woman down as comfortably as he could. After double and triple checking he had tended to her injuries as best he could, he went back to trying to hack through the rubble.
Mere minutes later the rubble began to give way, a hole opening, and rapidly getting bigger. The first face he saw was Oliver’s, tears had run tracks through the dust that clung to his skin, as he explained the coms had been working but only one way. He had heard it all. He demanded to know if Caitlin was alright, as he continued to make the opening larger.
“She’s asleep, just resting,” Logan assured him. Hurriedly helping ease her through the hole as soon as it was large enough for her, watching with a contented smile as Oliver carried his love toward the jet quickly, hopefully in time.
Four days later Logan let himself into the med lab. Oliver hadn’t left since they had returned, standing outside the theatre while the doctors frantically operated on Caitlin, before he took up residence at her bedside waiting for her to wake. She had finally awoken earlier that morning, and Marie had been down to check in with the on again couple while Logan had been on a pick up.
Logan smiled at the pair lying side by side on the narrow hospital bed, holding each other close as they slept. He didn’t plan to wake them, so he took a seat to wait; he didn’t have to wait long.
“So, all is well again?” he asked, watching the serious, though tender, look that passed between the two.
“We’re getting there,” Oliver supplied, gently wiping tears from Caitlin’s eyes, before he placed a kiss on her forehead.
“I thought you two should have this, it might help,” Logan offered, handing over the picture he had spent the last few days completing.
In the white plaster frame, patterned with down feathers, lay the image of a child. It was an image he had set aside unfinished three years earlier, but now it was complete. Sleeping peacefully, wrapped in downy angel wings, their child slept.
“Thank you,” Caitlin murmured softly, fresh tears falling as she tenderly stroked the sleeping face.
“So many people loved that baby, it felt wrong not memorialize it,” Logan replied. “Now you can remember, together,” he hinted, hoping it was enough to reunite the two lovers.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000