Part 1: Too Little, Too Late
Red. Lots of red. Rogue smiled, watching her skin curl away from the knife she ran over her arm. She was killing it, killing her poison skin. Punishing her body for betraying her. She reveled in the pain, it was the only thing she could safely feel. Thinking of him would only remind her of what she could never have, but the pain was oblivion. Here, things were quiet.
A knock on her door startled her out of the cocoon of blissful agony she had wrapped herself in. Quickly pulling on her long black glove, hiding the gashes, she walked over to open the door, reveling Scott. She blinked, glancing at the clock, he never came to see her this late. It was almost midnight. Scott just smiled.
"Hey," he said gently, "how are you doing?"
"Ok, I guess..." she answered more breathily than she had intended, coming down off the adrenalin high she got from the knife. She kept her bloody arm behind her, out of his view, and felt a pang of shame. It wasn't like she did this every night...
He glanced around the room, then paused, as if he was looking for an excuse to be talking to her. He finally asked her if she was ready for the mission tomorrow. She did her best to beam and look excited. She was going to lead for the first time tomorrow, wasn't she suppose to be excited? She didn't feel anything anymore.
They made some more small talk, and then he left. She shut the door, angry. Why did he feel he had the right to pry into her life? She was twenty, old enough to take care of herself. Besides, he was married to the woman of Logan's dreams, and he could touch her.
This last thought made Rogue frown, when did she get this bitter? She felt the blood drip off her arm. When did things go this wrong? The woman in her head just laughed.
It had been almost a year since she had absorbed Ms. Marvel. It had been an accident. She was guarding the Blackbird while the other X-Men, the ones with powers they could control, the useful ones, had been fighting the Brotherhood. She had her glove off, fiddling with some communications equipment that had gone down and the woman had come out of nowhere, flying straight at her, knocking her down. Reflexively Rogue had grabbed on to her bare arm, and held on. A second would have been enough to knock the woman out, but when the other X-Men found them, Rogue was still griping the Blonde's arm. They had had to pry the dead woman from her hands. What Rogue never told anybody, not even the Professor, was why she hadn't let go.
It was her deepest secret, the one closest to her fear.
She had liked it.
Holding the woman, feeling her skin, feeling the rush of power. Other times the touch had been painful because she had been touching someone she cared about, but with the anonymous Blonde there was just power. Only later had it started to hurt.
God, did it hurt.
The next week was hell. She spent most of it getting stuck in trees when her flying went out of control, or knocking holes in walls when she forgot about her strength. Then, the voices began.
Rogue was used to a crowd in her head, between Logan and Magneto there was more than enough racket. Ms. Marvel was very different. She had never held on that long before, she had no idea. The woman wasn't dead - Ms. Marvel wasn't dead -- but very alive, living in Rogue's head. Only when Scott had pulled her away did Rogue first feel her, Susan. After that she grew, filling her head with memories of lovers and family and friends Rogue had never seen, and she just got louder. Eventually, she could no longer distinguish her own thoughts from Susan's. Their psychic battle was constant now, overpowering all the other influences in her head. Logan hated Susan, Rogue knew that, and Susan hated Logan. Eric was ambivalent, and Cody was too faint to register. It was when Susan started to win the fight that Rogue clamped down.
She didn't sleep anymore, the haze in her head kept Susan from surfacing. She blocked out all feeling, all memory, and lived solely in the present. It was the only way she could keep control.
That was when she had discovered the pain.
Pain was clean, immediate, it cleared her head and sent Susan fleeing back into the corners of Rogue's mind. With that sharp thrill cutting her, she could focus. It gave her a sensation she could allow herself to enjoy, something Susan couldn't touch. Ms. Marvel's secret fear was pain, and when Rogue hurt herself she would flee and Rogue could have her head back. Little cuts had been fine at first, but as Susan became more daring Rogue had to take more drastic measures.
She used her new abilities to aid the X-men, eagerly volunteering for every mission. When she was fighting, everything faded to the here and now. It was legitimate pain, pain that earned her respect. Unlike the secret, guilty thrill of her own hand bringing the blade to her skin, but they both worked.
Tomorrow's mission would be dangerous, that's why she had asked to lead. The day was very important, it was the three-year anniversary of Logan's leaving. When she had first made her decision months ago, she had decided to give him until the three year mark to talk her out of it.
He hadn't called. He hadn't come home. He hadn't cared.
With this realization she resigned herself to her decision. A glorious death in battle was a cheap copout on suicide, but it got the job done, like the knife did. She just couldn't stand the guilt or the mental battle or the curse of her powers or her loneliness, just couldn't take it anymore.
Rogue stared out of her east window, waiting to watch the sunrise, sure it was the last she would ever see.
Logan growled at himself, all worked up over a girl. It was disgusting. He began to pace the six feet of floor space the tiny hotel room allowed. Damn them all. She was a fuckin' kid, for Christ sake. He was a dirty old man with nothing to give her but bad luck. She was better off without him.
Logan was familiar with this mantra, he had been repeating it to himself over the years since he had left. Now it was almost violent in its strength. She was fine, better without him.
But then, why had she disappeared from his head in the past year? He had always had a kind of sense for the girl, maybe an after effect of the touch, hell if he cared. All that mattered was that one-day she was wrapped up in a corner of his brain, a warm, kind presence that made his days bearable, the next she was gone, leaving him empty and cold. He would get little glimpses of her once in a while, and he didn't like what he saw. It was driving him crazy.
After another hour of pacing, he made a decision. He was going back, damn the consequences. He was going to find out what was wrong before it destroyed them both.
Vaulting onto Scott's motorcycle, he turned east and sped toward where she had last been.
Rogue smiled as she lounged in the control room, waiting for the other X-Men to show up. The room was cold and bright, focusing her on the task at hand. She felt in control for the first time since absorbing Susan, calm and in command. She looked down at the folder in her hands that outlined the mission. A direct assault on a Brotherhood compound where biological weapons were stored. Only three of them were going, herself, Storm and Cyclops. She didn't want Jean along, ostensibly because she wanted to keep the sting force small and pointed, but really because she didn't want her reading her mind and learning what she was really planning.
Jumping a little she heard the door slide open as Scott and Ororo entered. Carefully, she laid out their plan. It was simple, Cyclops would take out the back door guard and cause a diversion, and Storm would disrupt communications while she would barrel through and rig explosives in the warehouse, destroying the components for the weapons. Cyclops looked upset that she was taking so much upon herself, but Rogue just smiled and told him not to worry. After all, she was the only one who could both lift the bag of explosives, fly them high enough to rig effectively and still get out in time. After she fitted the charges, they had five minutes to get out. They would rendezvous back at the Jet after the charges had blown.
The other two X-Men nodded, then followed her out. The Jet seemed empty with only three of them, Rogue sat up front, watching the forest go by in a blur as they sped west and a little north, just over the Canadian boarder. They landed a good mile away from the compound to avoid detection. It was already dusk, and the shadows hid their shapes as they hurried on foot toward the base, pausing only when Rogue had to carry Scott over the fences that her and Storm could fly over. He could have blasted them, but that would have drawn too much attention. By the time they reached the compound, the sky was dark.
When the compound was in sight, Rogue left the other two to sneak around front. With Scott blasting away and Ororo causing a hurricane, the front gate was not going to be the object of much attention. That was the point.
Rogue crouched in the top branches of a tree, watching the front entrance. The dark clouds and the wind told her that Storm was getting in the groove. The sudden lightening confirmed it. She could dimly make out shouts from the rear of the structure, but her eyes stayed glued on the guard box. Susan and Logan were snarling in her head, furious at her plans. She squeezed her arm where she had cut it, breaking the tender skin. Susan whimpered and was silent, Logan got louder. This made Marie smile, he didn't want her to go, well, at least the Logan in her head didn't. She had made up her mind though, and there was no turning back. Clamping down on her conscience, she shut them out, focusing on the here and now.
When the guards finally ran from the box, she jumped into the air, diving through the now open doors. In her swoop, she grabbed one of the guards and took him with her down the long dark hall. Once she was far enough away, she slammed him against the wall and sweetly asked him where she might find the bio-elements storage room. He told her immediately, desperate to escape. She thanked him, then dropped him on the ground. He quickly recovered and scurried away, but she didn't notice. Following his directions, she wove her way through the maze of hallways until she reached a pair of double doors. Kicking them open she looked around with satisfaction at the rows of biohazard boxes.
Bingo.
Unslinging her bag, she began to rig the charges. By the time she had finished, the noise outside had begun to die down. Good, that meant Storm and Cyclops had begun to pull back. She set the timer, five minutes. She whispered an apology to everyone she knew as she settled herself on the box above the main charge, suddenly too tired even to fly. She slipped off her glove and looked at her arm. A crisscross of thin lacerations ran over its entire length, some still bleeding from her earlier abuse. Fear from Susan and anger from Logan welled up inside her at the sight, mixed with a bitter empathy from Magneto. She closed her eyes and slid the covering back on, fighting the voices. Even now she couldn't face herself. As the clock ticked, she curled up in a ball on top of the box, feeling empty and slightly sleepy. As time wore on the world began to shrink until it was just the room, then just the box and all she heard was the ticking and the rhythm of her body, oblivious to its imminent ending. She closed her eyes. It would all be over soon. She was so relieved at that thought that she didn't even notice the tear that rolled down her face, splashing on the timer.
Two minutes.
Logan had reached the mansion an hour after the jet had left and now he was waiting. The Professor had filled him in on the situation, but he didn't listen, until Xavier mentioned Rogue.
"What about Marie?" He snapped, a little more harshly than he had intended. The Professor didn't seem to notice.
"I said she has changed quite a bit since you left, in mind and body." He smiled at Logan, "She needs your support. She's been lonely, I'm sure seeing you will cheer her up."
Logan had left the office in a huff, but he felt better. Marie had missed him. He knew she had, but it still felt good to hear it. Now, almost twenty minutes later, that calm was gone, and Logan was scared.
Not frightened scared, terrified scared.
The worst part was that he couldn't figure out why. Jean was watching him from her seat opposite the professor, her face creased in a scowl. The professor looked deep in thought. The room was deathly still except for Logan's heavy footsteps as he paced.
After five minutes of this, the radio at Jean's arm crackled to life, Scott's tired voice was tight as he gave the report.
"The explosion went off about three minutes ago. Looks like everything was pretty well blasted. Storm and I are back at the Jet, we're just waiting for Rogue."
Logan snarled at the insecurity in Scott's voice. "Where is she, One Eye?" There was a shocked pause before Scott managed to gasp out.
"Logan? What are you doing there?"
"Enough with the chit-chat, Cyclops. Where's Marie?"
Scott was stunned by the serious tone of Logan's voice, the man actually sounded concerned. "She'll be here soon Logan, she'll be glad to know you're safe."
"Just get her, Scott." He hung up the radio.
Scott stared at his end in disbelief. Of all the people to come waltzing in, it had to be Logan. He hoped his bike was Ok.
He was about to comment on this to Storm when he noticed her frantically scanning the area from up in the sky. She landed, fear evident on her face.
"She should be here, Scott. This is too late."
Scott glanced at his watch, it had been almost five minutes since the blast, she should have been back by now. They waited another minute, then, without a word, began to run toward where the compound had been.
The sky was thick with smoke. Storm unconsciously summoned a wind to clear it so she could see. She was flying now, frantically searching the wreckage for any sign of her friend. Scott was nearby, on the ground, dispatching the last of the Brotherhood representatives from the site so she could search safely. Rogue had done a good job. Each of the chemical components alone were nontoxic, it was when they were mixed together they were deadly. Rogue had first blown the trigger, which burned up quite nicely, then the base, which was now oozing on the ground, putting out the fires. Despite the wreckage, the ground was still, and that scared Ororo more than anything else.
The epicenter of the blast had been the main part of the compound. Storm could barely make out where the blasting caps had been. The ground was covered with pieces of wood, probably from the shipping crates the toxins had been stored in. The flame-retardant material inside the crates had actually held up quite well, considering. There were even some rather large hunks of the stuff off to the left.
Suddenly, Storm froze, than began flipping over the boxes in terror. Beneath one of them she caught a glimpse of a gloved hand.
Minutes latter, Scott showed up to help her drag Rogue's contorted body out of the wreckage. She was bleeding all over the place and her hip was turned at an unnatural angle from her body. She was breathing, but they were short, shallow breaths that rasped like sandpaper. Scott scooped her up and started back to the Blackbird, fear turning his blood to ice.
It wasn't her fast and irregular breaths, or the blood, or even her crooked body that frightened him. That could be explained and Scott could handle the rational. It was the serene smile on her face as her life slipped away, the one that showed she wanted to die, that turned his blood to ice.
They reached the Jet in record time. Storm began securing Rogue as Scott readied for take off. He was thankful that flying gave him something to do, something other that watch Rogue will herself to death. As he concentrated on getting home, Scott had a feeling he would never get that smile out of his head.
He knew something was wrong when both Jean and the Professor jumped. Logan growled impatiently. Damn Summers! What was going on? He watched in amazement as Jean bolted out of the office, a second later he turned to follow. He was at the door when the Professor's voice echoed in his mind.
"Logan, you must stay calm. Jean is her only hope." Then he was hit with the image Scott had seen. Marie, blood drenched and burned, smiling sweetly. The sight made him lose his balance. He caught himself on the doorframe and sank to the ground.
He knew exactly what that smile meant.
He had smiled it himself a few times, when he though that he'd finally managed to damage himself beyond what his healing factor could mend. He had smiled, waiting for death to bring him peace. That peace never came, just a cold, empty dark that he always woke up from, hungry and tired, and there was nothing to do but go on. That kind of smile didn't belong on Marie. She was too young, to innocent.
Or at least the Marie he had left was. He stared at the picture still burning in his head. The bloody woman he saw was not Marie, she was Rogue. All of Scott's impressions of her had come into his head along with the image. To them she was their unbeatable femme fatal, strong and free, and well aquatinted with pain.
That hurt him. He had promised to protect her, but where had he been when she needed him? Not where he ought to have been, that's for damn sure. Not with her. On shaking legs, he made his way down to the lower levels. If they survived this, he would make sure she never smiled that way again.
Part 2: From the Inside Out
Jean was in full on doctor mode when they brought Rogue in, but under her calm exterior she wanted to fall to the ground and weep. Rogue looked so small, so much like the child she had been when Scott and Storm first brought her and Logan to the Mansion. Her face was serene, her mind calm and accepting to Jean's mental touch.
Rogue already considered herself dead.
Logan stumbled in, which was odd since he never stumbled, and made his way to Rogue's side, kneeling beside the bed. He wasn't in her way, so she didn't try to move him. She didn't think she could in any case, telekinetic powers aside.
Rogue's wounds had been hastily bandaged in the jet, but the blood was seeping through onto the table, pooling by Logan's arm. Jean quickly stanched the blood flow with new bandages and readied a blood transfusion. Rogue's heartbeat on the monitor was rapidly fading. She was slipping away and there was nothing Jean could do.
She hooked up the IV tube and attached the blood supply. When she slid the needle into Rogue's arm she felt a mental sigh slip through her. Rogue had stopped breathing. Using her powers, she whipped the respirator around, attaching the mask to Rogue's face. Rogue's body convulsed as the iron lung began to force air into her protesting lungs. Her heartbeat was jumping wildly. Looked at the monitor, Jean cursed, no good, her blood pressure was dropping fast. She reached for a syringe of adrenaline, preparing to inject it into the thick muscle of Rogue's hip when something grabbed her arm.
"No, Jean." Rogue's voice was clear and her eyes were open. Logan leapt up.
"Marie, please baby, let her help you." Logan's voice was thick with emotion. Marie stared at him for a moment, then she laughed. Years from now, Jean would never be able to remember anything colder than that laugh.
"Hey Logan," she said, "Susan and Eric here too? I always knew I'd never get off that easy." Her voice was calm and bitter. Her eyes were wild. "Go away, all of you. Get out of my head and let me die in peace."
"Rogue, you aren't going to die." Jean snapped. "Logan, move over. I'm saving her." But Logan shook her off. With his bare hand he grabbed Marie's face.
"Oh no, darlin." Logan growled. "You're not getting away from me that easily."
Marie gasped as her traitorous skin clung to a chance for survival. With a fearful thrust, she flung the now unconscious Logan across the room. Her whole body seethed and quaked as the healing took affect and his mind assaulted hers. A new jumble of memories took over as the pain faded and her skin pulled itself back together. Ms. Marvel screamed as Logan forced his way back in. Jean's face over her was the last thing she saw as the world went black.
Marie opened her eyes to a white glow, then she frowned.
"I'm not dead, am I, Red?" she sighed to Jean, who she could now smell over in the corner. Logan's presence did have its advantages.
"No," said Jean "You're not."
"Damn." Rogue sighed, then floated up off the table to a sitting position in the air, turning to face a rather determined looking Jean. Shaking her head, she tried to remember what happened. Logan had touched her, bringing her back from that abyss she had fought so hard to reach. Closing her eyes, she forced the new memories down, burring them deep inside. Ms. Marvel began to cry, and Rogue automatically squeezed her arm where the cuts were supposed to be. Nothing happened. Rogue looked down at her smooth skin, aware for the first time that she was naked except for a thin hospital gown. Ms. Marvel got louder.
"Shut up." Rogue muttered. Only when she had her mind under some kind of control, did she face Jean.
"Is Logan Ok?"
"He will be, you didn't let him hold on for very long." Jean took a breath, as though preparing for a fight, then faced Rogue again. "Why didn't you tell us you were having so much trouble with Ms. Marvel?"
"Get out of my head!" She snapped. "I'll deal with my own problems."
"How?" Jean asked levelly, "By cutting on yourself some more? Or maybe just trying suicide again. Oh Rogue," she said softly, her voice heavy with tears. "Why didn't you tell us?"
Rogue shifted uncomfortably, then changed the subject. "So, did you and Logan have a nice visit? Or did he just come back to get sucked dry again?"
"He came back for you. He was worried."
"Like hell. Face it, Jeanie," Rogue snarled, ruthlessly forcing down the outrage from the new Logan in her head, "he came back to get into your pants, I was just a side trip."
Jean swallowed, close to tears. The girl perched in the air before her wasn't the caring, sweet Rogue she had been not half a year before. This was a stranger. How could they not have seen this? When did Rogue become so bitter?
"Rogue," she sighed finally, "why don't you try listening to the man in your head instead of lashing out at me, or yourself?"
"What the hell do you know, Jeannie?" Logan's anger had her now. "Tell you what, I'll get out of here so you can have some quality time with Mr. Concern in there." Rogue's voice was ice. "So why don't you just shut the fuck up and leave me ALONE."
Rogue turned her back on Jean, and only when she heard click of the door as the older woman closed it behind her did she let the tears come.
Logan woke up when he heard Jean crying. She was standing with her back towards him, her shoulders shaking violently as quite sobs filled the room. He sat up and rubbed his back, trying to get the image of Marie gleefully bleeding to death out of his head. No luck.
"Jeannie?" he said softly, she spun around, wiping her face quickly. Panic began to fill him, why was Jean crying? Where was Marie?
"Ah, good," she said, struggling to regain her composure. "Logan, you're up."
"Where's Marie? Is she all right?"
Jean offered him a weak smile. "She's fine Logan, just shaken and confused. A lot has changed since you've been gone."
"So everyone keeps telling me." He growled, a little annoyed. "So, before I die of curiosity, why don't you tell me what the hell that was all about."
Jean sighed. This was going to be a long night.
The room was chilly, but Marie show any sign of noticing. Her head was tipped to the side and her eyes were closed, she seemed to be listening to something far away. She was still floating where Jean had left her, as if she feared touching the ground. This surprised Logan, hearing about her new powers from Jean and actually seeing them were very different animals. Carefully closing the door behind him, he cleared his throat. Marie didn't move.
"Marie..?' He began tentatively. Slowly walking over to the table she was floating above, he reached out and grabbed her arm. "Marie, I-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence because before he could blink he was lying on the floor, clutching his hand. Thank God for adamantium, otherwise she would have broken it for sure. Logan gaped at the small, feminine form floating above him like nothing had happened. She had tossed him aside like a rag doll. The pain in his hand fading, he hauled himself up and walked around so that he was facing Marie, careful not to touch her this time. Her face was hidden by the fall of her hair, but Logan could smell the salty tang of fresh tears.
"Marie, talk to me, please..." Logan could hear the fear turning to panic in his voice. "Please, darlin...."
"Go away."
Logan winced, physically stung by the flat dismissal. "No, not till you tell me what's wr-" He was interrupted by a soft dripping noise. He followed the sound down to a growing red pool on the table she was floating above. A new fear grabbed his throat, had he failed to heal her completely? He followed the drips from where they landed with loud sticky plops on the table up to her knee where she had rested her hand. A thick, red river ran between her ring and pinky fingers, across her palm, up her arm to where she had dug her nails into the pale, smooth skin of her forearm. Her smock was turning a sickening purple as her bright red blood seeped into the blue fabric. The smell of the new blood blended into the old blood smell that still hung around her.
Logan raised a shaking hand to the curtain of hair that hid her face. Gently, he pushed it back, revealing her eyes. They were wide open, glassy and blank. He shook her once gently, then more violently when she didn't respond. He tried to call for Jean, but his throat wouldn't work. Gently, he pulled her down out of the air to him. All her prior resistance gone, she was a dead weight against him as he carried her into the next room. Her face was empty as her body had been, the memory of her smile mocking him.
Part 3: Psyche and Persephone
Logan didn't have to go far before Marie's fist sent him flying. He held tight to her now kicking body all the way down only to be rewarded with firm kick in the groin. Rogue struggled to untangle herself from the now prone Wolverine, but instead of bolting, she hovered above him, confused.
"Where is the little bitch?" she snarled, "I'll peel that damn skin off her, right before I rearrange the harlot's rib cage."
Helping Logan up, Jean tried to keep her voice calm. "Who, Rogue?"
"Xavier's little pet, I'll... " she paused, shook her head, "No," she muttered "I was dead. She killed me, but I didn't die. She wouldn't let me die." She trailed off, clutching her head, blood still running down her hands.
Professor Jean called frantically, Something's wrong, Rogue's gone berserk.
I know Jean, I was afraid it would come to this. Logan, catch her when she falls.
Logan nodded. Suddenly, Rogue began to thrash madly, clawing at the air. "No! Shut-UP! Get the hell out of my head! I'm Susan! No Eric, stop please. Don't let him... " She collapsed on to Logan, who laid her on the table. Jean quickly injected a sedative while Logan wrapped the deep gashes she had left on her arm. They worked in silence, each too sad and confused to speak.
"It seems," began the professor, "that I had greatly under estimated the conflict Ms. Marvel, Susan, was causing in Rogue's mind."
"Underestimated?!" Shrieked Logan "The girl was willing to kill herself to get away from that bitch and you're saying you UNDERESTIMATED?!"
"Logan! This is hardly-"
"No, Jean." The professor continued, "This was my mistake in judgment, and I ought to feel its effects. Logan, I'm going to need your help. As you know, whenever Rogue touches someone, she absorbs their psyche as well as their energy. These extra personalities she picks up vary in strength depending on how long she held on. So far, she has always been able to overcome the new presence in her mind with time, though she still exhibits a few of your more charming personality traits every now and then, Logan." Logan grunted at this, but didn't interrupt. "Rogue held onto Ms. Marvel longer than anyone she had absorbed before, taking all of her energy and psyche into her own mind. After she made it through the initial disorientation, we all assumed she had handled the new presence in her mind like the others before, we had no idea it was still affecting her so strongly."
Professor Xavier looked down at the desk in front of him, suddenly showing his age. Jean's heart went out to her teacher, she had never seen him so saddened. "We failed her, I failed her. She needed us and we weren't there for her. We left her alone, hoping she would pull through. Now, it seems that Rogue has given in to Ms. Marvel's presence in her mind in order to escape everything else, and I'm going to need your help in getting her to come back, Logan." The professor fixed his gaze on the big man bent over with his head in his hands. "She has to have a reason to come back to her mind. Help us bring our little girl home, Logan."
Nothing moved in the quiet room except for the slow counting of the wall clock as the seconds rolled by. Logan took a deep breath, "I'll try my best, Chuck, but what am I suppose to do?"
Xavier took a deep breath, "What ever you can, Logan, I trust you."
As they left the office, Logan pounded his fist into the wood paneling with a fierce growl. "Dammit, Jean. Where the hell was I during all of this? If I had been there to watch her back, none of this would have happened."
"Logan, you-"
"No, Jean, no more. I'm going to bring Marie back, and then I'm never going to let her down again. I won't let her pay for my mistakes any longer. I'm going to bring her home."
Jean started to say something but stopped, then she nodded as the two of them made their way back down to the medlab where Marie was sleeping.
When they arrived in the lab, however, a very awake Rogue, lounging on the lab counter dressed in her street clothes, smoking a cigarette, greeted them. Jean was about to ask how, but then she remembered, Logan's healing factor. Of course she was over the sedative by now. She cursed her own lack of forethought and was reaching for another sedative when Rogue spoke.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ms. Grey." Rogue took another drag off the cigarette and smiled. "I forgot how good a good smoke could be."
"What the hell do you think you're doin', Marie?" Logan growled, crossing his arms. "You know better."
"Uh-uh, Logan," Marie's sweet features twisted into a sickly smirk "You don' t get to order me around. Marie may have put up with it, but personally I'm tired of your hypocritical bullshit." Rogue hopped off the table, then floated just above it, lounging on her side. "You see, " she began, taking one last drag off her cigarette then grinding it out on Jean's immaculately clean counter top. "The Rogue and I have come to an arrangement, I take her away from all of this, and she gives me another shot at life in this rather attractive body. Of course," she frowned, "the hair's got to go, but we all have our little burdens to bare."
"What did you do to her, bitch?" Logan growled in what Jean had come to recognize as his homicidal rage tone.
"Nothing she didn't want. We were both tired of fighting, I offered a peace treaty, she accepted. I think she was tired of cutting those pretty arms of hers to shut me up, I know she was tired of waiting for you." Logan growled and clinched his fists. "Did you know," she continued disinterestedly, "that she planned her suicide mission on the third anniversary of your leaving? She decided to give you three years to come back and save her, when you didn 't, her only reason to keep going as gone. Personally, I think she's better off now, She really was settling too low, I mean, an animal like you... " She trailed off, fixing Logan with a brilliant smile. He growled and leapt at her, pinning her arms. She shrugged him off like he was an over exuberant child, pinning him to the counter with her arm wrapped around his throat. He began to struggle and curse, she just laughed and cooed to him in Marie's voice. "Careful, old man, you might bruise her."
STOP The command echoed in both their heads. Jean had her hand out, focusing all her power into that one command. The woman with Marie's body froze then slammed Wolverine's head into the counter with a laugh, knocking him out. She released his limp body and shot through the air at Jean, catching her by the throat with one hand.
"Sorry, Jeannie." She smiled, tapping the side of her head with her free hand as she lifted Jean off the ground with the other. "But you're out of your league. Too many of us in here for you to handle." She laughed and tossed Jean to the ground, coughing and sputtering.
"That goes for you too, Old Man X!" She shouted triumphantly, "Eric knows how to deal with you." Rogue picked up the syringe full of sedative from the table and held it to Jean's throat. "So call off your dogs."
As if on cue, the door blew open and Cyclops and Storm burst in, freezing when they saw the needle pricking Jean's throat.
"Let them go, Rogue." Scott's voice was icy. Rogue snickered and pressed the needle closer, drawing a small drop of blood.
"Shut-up, One-eye, or sweetness and light here gets an overdose. You never did know when to keep your mouth clo-" She was interrupted by a roar as Logan slammed her to the ground. Before she could react, Logan had pinned her and was wrestling the syringe out of her hand.
"Get over here Cyc!" he yelled, but Scott had barely moved when Rogue launched herself up with a scream, knocking them both against the ceiling. Logan felt himself slip as Rogue shot out of his grasp, barreling through the wall. He hit the ground hard in a shower of plaster. He heard several faint crashes and one final yell of "Fuck you!" before he heard Scott shouting and he knew Marie had gotten out.
Crap, he thought, barely controlling his rage, he was going to kill that bitch in Marie's body. Once he figured out a way to kill someone who was already dead.
Part 4: Drowning in the Styx
Possession is nine tenths of the law.
The problem with tracking people who can fly is that they're never polite enough to leave a trail.
Logan kicked the hotel wall, adding another hole to the already extensive assortment. Marie had been here last night, no doubt about that. If the smell hadn't given her away, the fist sized holes in the cement supports would. According to the man at the desk, a blonde woman had brought a man in the night before then shot the moon, robbing the man blind and wrecking the hotel room on her way out. Logan figured that Marvel had changed Marie's hair about a month ago, down around Atlanta. She'd been sticking to the sleazier parts of the South ever since, occasionally robbing rich idiots stupid enough to be pulled in.
Kicking the wall once more for good measure, Logan stalked outside. He'd been chasing her for six weeks and was still no closer to catching up. Marvel was good, she was moving quickly, making a damn good living in petty theft. The girl had all his running experience, plus whatever else that Bitch had sopped up. This was the only way Logan had been able to follow her, Marvel seemed to take a positive delight in absorbing people and by following the trail of unexplained comas, Logan had managed to stay in the running, if just barely. The man last night had been lucky, he'd only lost his wallet. Logan growled as he made his way over to the bike, pulling out the cell phone the Professor had given him, at the rate her head was filling up there wouldn't be much left of Marie to save.
Susan Danvers rested her feet on the barstool across from hers, making sure the low cut blouse gave the entering crowd a nice flash of cleavage. She fiddled restlessly with a piece of platinum blonde hair, a bare finger absently stirring her drink. She couldn't remember why she'd come here, it wasn't her type of bar. The lights were too low and the music sucked, plus there was no dance floor, just a big chain link cage where one should have been. For about the fifteenth time that night she got up to leave, then settled back down. Sometimes, when she wasn't paying attention, Marie would make her do things, like go into red neck fight bars. Or buy motorcycles. Susan rolled her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't like motorcycles, but the other day she had forked over a lot of her cash for a Harley, so apparently Marie did.
Downing the rest of her drink, Susan scanned the bar for a likely target. She would have to pick a good one tonight, her hair needed bleaching and she had to make back the money she'd spent on the motorcycle. Across the bar, a man smiled and started towards her. She let her eyes rove over him, nice body, expensive shoes, not too country, definitely new money, probably slumming it for a night. Watching his eyes follow her leather clad legs, Susan smirked. If she played her cards right she'd be on the road with a pocket full of plastic and a head full of bank accounts within the next hour. In the back of her mind, Marie whimpered.
She loved the look in their eyes, the fear, the pain. It was the ultimate power. Susan laughed as she let the man, Dave Andrews, drop to the floor and waited for Marie to deal with the new mind. Marie always dealt with the new people who came in, she had to, otherwise she would be pushed out and lost completely. After Marie had dealt with them, Susan would go through their memories, taking what she needed before they faded. This was the only time she had any contact with Marie. At first, Marie had quietly complied, but as it became more and more apparent that the Logan man wasn't giving up she got bolder. The Logan in her head was helpful in this case, he had been renewed when he saved Marie, and now he helped keep her a step ahead of the man himself. At first he had been so loud, almost drowning both her and Marie out, but Susan had quickly found his weak spot, namely the Rogue. Whenever he got too loud, she would hurt Marie, so they had an understanding.
Other than those few minor problems, the crowd in her head was relatively quiet. Mostly they were either too weak or too scared to challenge her. Unlike Marie, she ruled her head with an iron fist.
Pulling her gloves on to hide the fingerprints, she went through the man's pockets. Helping herself to his wallet and his Rolex, she put her shirt back on and got ready to leave. She wrinkled her nose at his truck keys, and decided to fly back instead, but first she had to find an ATM. Lost in thought, she gasped when she felt a sudden pain in her hand. Looking down she was amazed to see her fist embedded in the concrete. Damn. Rogue would do this ever time she got ready to leave. She was sure that was how the Wolverine was tracking her. Lashing out, she felt Marie scream in her mind. Good. Let the slut bleed. She had better things to do than play hide and seek with the Giant Skunk Bear. Once she got enough money, she would flush Marie out of her mind completely and clear out. Logan would never find her and she could start living the good life.
"He'll find me."
Susan started and looked around, but she was the only one in the room. She hurried to the door and took off, she had to get some sleep before she went as nuts as Rogue.
Logan looked over the room, it was just like all the others, hole in the wall, Marie smell, and masculine fear. The difference with this one was that the room had been fine the day before. She had been there within the last 24 hours. Logan began to look around. As usual, the police had cleared everything out, but he could smell a stronger edge of fear and determination in the Marie smell. The smell had been growing over the last three rooms. Maybe Susan's hold over Marie wasn't as strong as she thought. He was headed out the door when his phone rang, it was Jean.
"Logan," she said breathlessly "the man she assaulted, Dave Anderson? A complete withdrawal of all his accounts was just made at an ATM in a mall about 50 miles west of you. She's the only one it could be."
"I'm a step ahead of you, Jeanie. See if you can find her, call the stores, call security and give them her description, anything to stall her. I'll be there in thirty minutes."
Jean agreed and hung up. Logan revved up the bike and shot back towards the highway. For the first time in two months, he smiled.
Part 5: Vanity Fair
Ah, Lisette! my pretty Lisette!
Do not listen! do not care!
Lips are laughing, but eyes are wet,
Hearts are breaking in Vanity Fair.
-F. E. Weatherly
Ahh, it was so nice to relax with a magazine in a salon. It was a nice set up for a mall salon in Hickville, they hadn't even flinched when she'd insisted they wear gloves. Her stylist, Chantal, reminded Rogue of someone she'd gone to high school with.
Susan frowned and shook her head, hitting head against the dryer. Bad enough she had to put up with the bad hair and the skin, but the girl's refusal to just goddamn DIE was really getting to her. Turns out, that hick last night had a lot more cash than she had expected. She had emptied three ATM's before finally getting all the money. Once she laundered and deposited her new wealth, she would have almost a million dollars in her Swiss account. She could live off that for a long time in Mexico. She was ready to dump Rogue and have her head to herself again and the girl just wouldn't go. Why was her life always so damn complicated? Stupid, stubborn girl.
"I ain't leavin."
Susan swallowed, then glared at the few confused faces that turned her way. She hated it when the sponge girl just decided to take over her mouth. She had won this body fair and square. Rogue had lost, and losers got NOTHING. No second chances, no breaks.
'You got a second chance, Susan.' Rogue murmured, this time in her head. 'Ah killed you, you should be gone, but you're still here. Now, give me back what's mine.'
'Not like you were taking care of the goods, honey.' Susan snapped back. In many ways, she was glad she was finally having it out with Rogue, they hadn't really spoken since Susan had taken over completely. Rogue needed to be reminded of their deal, needed to be put back in her place. A person should know when they're conquered.
'Give me back my body, Susan.'
'Tough luck, bitch, mine now.'
'Give it back, Marvel, or ah'll take it back.'
Susan snarled and sent a vicious mental jab in Rogue's direction, feeling her double over in pain. Susan smiled, and jabbed her again for good measure. It was important to keep her dominance plain, the girl was getting too strong. She would have to be harsher if she was ever going to have any peace. Still, she was uneasy as Rogue faded back into her shadows, and it wasn't just the insubordination or the open threat, she could deal with those. What really bothered her was that the girl hadn't screamed this time.
She would definitely have to be harder from now on.
Her newly dried hair bounced behind her in pure platinum waves as she made her way out to her bike. She loved it when her hair looked like this, she could almost pretend it was her natural color again. Of all the things Susan missed, it was her hair she missed the most. Her last lover had been a photographer, right before the "accident" with the X-brats. A real artist, selfish, but a great lay. He had done an entire series on her hair, "While Silk" he'd called it. It had been a huge hit in the Village. She remembered being mad about the title, thinking it made her sound old. She never really said goodbye when she left any of them, but he was the only one she'd let keep a piece of her, one slippery lock of hair, so light it was almost white. No dye job could ever get that shine back.
Susan sighed into the empty mall parking deck, wondering if she'd ever get to have a lover again. Rogue should thank her for getting her out of this miserable skin prison. She floated up the last flight of stairs to the top deck where she'd parked her bike, glad she wouldn't have to fly back to the hotel. She was tired and flying was a lot more work than most people thought. Hopping on the cycle, she began to dig in her purse for her mirror, wanting one last look at her hair in the setting sunlight. She smiled in satisfaction at what she saw. A beautiful woman, young, with glowing gold hair in the last light of the evening, beautiful porcelain skin and striking green eyes flecked with gold, courtesy of some pretty expensive contacts. She was beautiful, and she was alive. She was Susan. She had the money and the looks to get whatever she wanted. Life was looking pretty rosy.
Folding the mirror, she put it back in her bag and reached for her keys. She never heard the steps behind her, but she heard the claws coming out, and everything went black.
Part 6: You and Me and the Devil Makes Three
"Go to sleep ya little baby
Everybody's gone in the cotton and the corn
Didn't leave nobody but the baby
Don't ya weep pretty baby
You and me and the Devil makes three
Don't need no other lovin' baby
Go to sleep ya little baby
Come lay your bones on the alabaster stones
And be my ever loving baby"
-"Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby" American Folk Song
Logan caught her before she could hit the ground. Wrinkling his nose at the smell of peroxide and bleach, he brushed her hair aside with gloved fingers to get a look at where he had knocked her. Satisfied that she'd live, he hoisted her over his shoulder and made his way over to the Explorer he'd rented for the occasion. Throwing her inside, he bound her arms together, making sure she could get no leverage to use her strength and break the ropes. Next he bound her feet and legs in the same way, then came the gag. Finally he arranged a blanket over her so that he wouldn't have to explain why he was driving out of the Mall with a pretty, unconscious blonde in his back seat.
//Logan//
//What Chuck?// He tossed some bills at the attendant and started toward the main highway. //I'm kind of busy right now.//
//Logan, I'll arrange for Scott to pick you up in the jet, you can drop the car when-//
//Sorry, Prof., but I'm going to be taking over from here out.//
//Logan, I really don't think that's a very good-//
//Bye, Chuck.// Logan severed the connection. All those meditation skills he had picked up god knows where were finally coming in handy. He was pretty sure that he could keep Wheels in the dark for a week at least, provided he was careful. Turning the Explorer onto I-85 North, he concentrated on making good time. They were going back to his territory now, his and Marie's. Marvel didn't stand a chance.
Susan woke up nine hours later, somewhere in Ohio. She pitched ten kinds of a fit, or she tried to. It's hard to be frightening when you're reduced to wiggling around on the floor of an SUV. Logan's knot job was very good, she couldn't even get enough leverage to float. Finally, after two hours of cursing and threats through the gag, she calmed down, whether from resignation or exhaustion Logan wasn't sure. He had chucked the phone a few states back and the car was deathly quiet except for Marvel's muffled moans.
Logan refused to let himself think that the woman in the back was Marie. She looked like Marie still, even with her hair that awful color and no streaks. Under the smell of perfume and bleach Marie's scent was still strong, but he couldn't let that fool him, not this time. He had to focus on the situation at hand, namely that the body in the back was Marie, but not the person. For one thing, Marie would never have bothered threatening him, she knew him better than that. She would have played it quiet and attacked when his guard was down. This woman was far too forward and abrasive, despite having Marie's voice. Still Logan was glad when she quieted down and seemed to go back to sleep. Part of him was screaming about treating Marie like this, another part of him just wanted to gut the bitch for hurting what was his. Logan had a lot to sort out in his own mind if he was going to help Marie regain control of hers, and, what ever happened, he wasn't going to let her down again.
"Get up."
"Mmmph!"
"We're here."
"Mhhhhmms heeeh?"
Logan sighed and removed the gag. "Say again?"
"Where's here?"
"Nowhere."
"Listen, you fucking Neanderthal, if you think for one-mmphheh!"
"If you can't play nice, you can shut up Marvel."
Dumping the blonde unceremoniously on the ground, Logan did a quick survey of the area. No one knew about this cabin but him. He used it when he needed to lie low for a while. Two hours from anywhere, it was the perfect refuge from angry cage fighters who got a little too suspicious when the Wolverine would go through ten rounds a night with nothing to show for it. The last time he had been to the cabin he had left a pretty good stock, there was no telling when he would be able to venture out again if he was forced to come here. After satisfying his paranoia, he made his way back to the woman on the ground who was trying to slither into the woods. His boot on her neck stopped her struggles.
"Where ya goin', darlin'? The fun's just starting." Scooping her up, he took her inside the cabin and locked the door.
There was only one real room, but there was a fireplace and a stove. Out side was an outhouse and there was a stream for water down the hill. Even gagged, Marvel managed to convey her disdain quite clearly. Logan smirked. She wasn't getting out of this one.
Popping a claw, he carefully cut the gag, but before Marvel could say anything, Logan cut her off.
"Listen, girl, you've got three chances to keep me from leaving you here, alone. Say something stupid, and you're one step closer to being bear food."
"Ha, you're bluffing animal man, your Marie's still in here, and she's hurting. You'd never abandon her in the wilderness."
"Marie's strong, the fact that she's still fighting you shows how strong she is. She'd be willing to work with me to get you out, no matter what, and that's one."
"You don't really love her, Wolverine, you just want to get her off your conscience. You can't live with yourself knowing the proof of your failure is still running around, knowing just how much you let her down. Well, tough luck, asshole, you did let her down, and she's never coming back! This is my body now. Mine! I-" Susan's rant was cut off by three pricks at her throat. She swallowed.
"That's two. Now you listen, bitch, cause I'm only going to say this to you once. I. Love. Marie. More than freedom, more than my life, more than anything. I screwed up, and because of my mistake, she got stuck with you. That is not going to happen again. I'm getting Marie back, and I don't care what I have to do. I don't care what happens to me, and I certainly don't care what happens to you. As far as I am concerned, you are not Marie, you are a parasite living in a body way too good for a whore like yourself. Now, Danvers, let me talk to Marie."
Susan's face had remained set in a steely malicious grin during his speech, but her eyes had been changing. Now they were growing softer by the word. One of the contacts had fallen out during the ride up, and the depth of expression in the chocolate brown took Logan's breath away. He felt like he was looking past what Marvel had fortified, deep into what was Marie. When she spoke, the soft drawling words shot straight into Logan's heart.
"Do ya mean that?"
"I meant ever word, Marie, always have, always will."
Part 7: Different Smiles
They had been in the cabin for three days when Logan made his mistake. Marie had been getting steadily stronger, more in control, as she edged Marvel out. She was asleep when he made his mistake. She looked so beautiful, so like Marie, that he touched her, lightly, on the cheek. The connection had opened immediately, and Susan took full advantage. Sucking as much of him in as possible, she ignored Marie's screaming and knocked him onto the dirt floor. Leaning on his forearm, she pressed into a tendon, causing the claws to shoot out. Cutting her ropes, Marvel was free.
'STOP.'
She reeled at the intensity of the command, Marie scrambled for control.
'STOP IT SUSAN.'
'Shut up, just shut up, go away, leave me alone.'
'No, this is my body. My mind. You're leaving, right now. You won't hurt anyone I love ever again.'
'I'm not leaving, Marie. I'm not going to die'
'You're already dead, Susan, you died the minute you touched me. I'm done letting you control me. I'm done being weak. Get. Out.'
'You can't get rid of me that easily, girlie. I'm a part of you now.'
'No, I'm me. You are dead already.'
Deep in her head, Marie felt Logan struggling to get out, but she pushed him down ruthlessly. This was something she had to do alone.
'You have no power over me'
With that, a great mental door started sliding shut, closing Susan off. Everything in Marie's mind was sliding with it, personalities blending together, reorganizing. Then, with a snap, it was done. Marie felt a new control over her body and her mind. Closing her eyes, she let herself slip into a new state that was more herself than she'd ever been before.
Logan woke up later that evening, not surprised to find himself alone. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let Marie down like that? Marvel was probably over the boarder by now. Cursing loudly, he jerked himself up and stumbled out of the cabin. He would just have to find her and try again. When he reached the clearing, he was surprised to see Marie sitting on the little hill in front of the SUV, watching the sunset.
"Hey, Sugah, care to join me?"
Logan paused. "Marie?"
"One and only, Sugah."
"Where's Marvel?"
Marie tapped the side of her head. "In here, with the rest of you, but I'm in charge now. For good."
Logan stopped, confused. He had been ready to chase her all over the continent thirty seconds ago, and here she was, telling him they'd won. Marvel was gone? He must have looked thoroughly lost because Marie took one look at him and burst out laughing.
It was the first time she had laughed in a long time.
He sat down next to her, opening his mouth to ask one of a million question, but she silenced him by placing a finger on his lips, a bare finger.
Marie laughed again at his look. "I told ya, Logan." She sighed "I'm in charge. My skin is safe now. I could have done it from the beginning, I just had to take control of my mind."
Logan looked down at Marie, smiling up at him. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and moist, he couldn't help grinning as she kissed back, pressing into him. He felt the connection open, but it was different this time. Instead of pain, he could feel everything she felt, the calm, the joy. He felt Marie. He pulled back and looked at her.
"I love you." He said.
"I know. I love you." and then she smiled. It was a different smile, one he couldn't decipher but so clear and happy. It spoke of love and happiness and the whole of the future. He smiled back.
"Should we go home?"
"Yeah."
It took then three months to get home. They toured the country and took back roads getting to know each other again. Logan told her all the stuff he had done while he'd been away and Marie told him all the things she'd done before the accident. Logan fell in love with her a little more each day, sometimes, it was all he could do not to just pull over and kiss her, most of the time he just did it and didn't try to stop. They had sex at the end of the first month, on a blanket under the stars, in a field in South Dakota, and it was perfect. They got married at the end of the third month in Vegas because it was the natural thing to do, finishing what they had started the first time they had touched. In their wedding picture they were both smiling in front of the Vegas strip, but they would have been smiling no matter where they were. Different smiles for different things, sex smiles, happy smiles, knowing smiles, laughing smiles, but mostly, they smiled because they were together. And that's what really mattered.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
First try at angst, not quite Angst Grrls level, but I never claimed that distinction. Dedication: To all the shippers who've never had a fic dedicated to them, have fun guys!