Logan’s Past 16
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~It just figures that there’s no easy answers! Not that I was expectin’ some kinda wave his hand, hocus pocus and there were all my memories, but something a hell of a sight better than ‘the only thing we can do is go for a walk around inside your head’. Damn! Chuck knows how I feel about that shit!~
Not noticing where he has wandered to while talking to himself, Logan raises his head to see that he’s made his way to Marie’s door.
~’Spose I oughta talk to Marie. Sounds like she’s up and moving around in there…~
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Ok, now where the hell did I put that ---
[*knock, knock*]
“Yeah? Who is it?”
“It’s, uh, it’s me, Marie.”
“C’mon in, sugar,” well this should be interesting, and here I thought I’d have to go hunting him down to get some answers about last night.
“Hey there, Marie. Uh, how’s it goin’?”
“It’s going pretty good I guess. H-how are you doing this morning?” He looks like he went ten rounds with Toad, not as bad as ten rounds with Sabretooth, but still not as great as a half decent night’s sleep.
“Oh, I-I’m doing pretty goo- aw, hell Marie! I barely slept last night!”
Logan drops down onto the bed, exhaustion and exasperation clear in his body language.
Really? I wouldn’t’ve ever guessed! “I’m sorry, Logan. I know I dumped a lot of stuff on ya, and so soon after ya just got back. It wasn’t fair of me to do that ..”
“Hell, Marie, it’s not your fault! I kinda came stormin’ in last night, unannounced just like ya said. If I’da had half the manners of a regular person I’d have at least knocked. If I had, then this whole thing wouldn’ta gone down like it did.”
“Yeah, uh, why were you in such a tizzy to talk to me last night?”
Rogue takes up a seat on the bed also, on the opposite side and corner from where Logan is sitting.
~Aw, hell! Guess I’m gonna have ta lay it out…~ “Well, after ya reamed me the new asshole yesterday, I was tryin’ ta figure out why ya went so ballistic. Yer friend the Mall Rat caught me comin’ inta the mansion, and when I growled at her over somethin’; One-Eye decided ta go stickin’ his nose in where it didn’t belong. So I had ta tell him what happened with the whole ‘stupid question’ thing and all the yellin’ and screechin’ ya did. I’m hatin’ ta have ta admit this, but ol’ Scooter actually said some stuff that made sense. And the stuff he said got me ta doin’ some more thinkin’…..and ….well…..”
I think that may be the most I’ve ever heard Logan say at one time! Even in the best of moods, he’s no Toastmasters Master of Ceremonies. And the fact that he’s actually admitting that Scott was right about something?? I sense that Twilight Zone music is gonna kick in again anytime now.
“Yeah? ‘And…well…’, what, Logan? What did you get to thinking ‘bout that shot you off like a rocket, hell bent on the destruction of my bedroom door?”
“Well, I just, ….I-I mean the thinkin’ an’ all, it, uh…”
“Logan? Sugar? Just spit it out, huh? Please?”
~Dammit!! I hate to sputter like this, soundin’ like a damn fool!~ “Well, I thought I mighta figured out what all you were really sayin’ when ya were doin’ all that screechin’ about if it was your boyfriend, or your husband that had disappeared…..”
Logan begins to noticeably tense, he suddenly can’t or won’t meet Marie’s eyes, a faded spot on his jeans is all at once, more interesting to him, and receives almost all his attention and concentration. It is a change in demeanor that does not go unnoticed, however, Marie has also become nervous at the possible implication of Logan’s answer to her next question.
“Logan, what *exactly* do you mean, when you say you ‘figured out’ what I was saying?”
Still not meeting Marie’s eyes, Logan quietly spoke, “I-I can’t explain anything exactly, Marie, but I got to thinkin’, and I realized if some - thing I cared about, got taken away from me, but I got it back; then, yeah, I’d probably, ya know, at first, be more concerned if everything was ok with y-….it. And I kinda realized that if that something did get back ta me without being dinged up or hurt or anything, I might could be happy with that and maybe not feel quite so much like I needed ta find who did it and gut ‘em.”
Marie sits very still, letting what Logan has said wash over her. She knows he’s not one to ever talk openly about ‘pansy-assed’ things, like emotions, but some things simply need to be clarified.
“What are ya saying, Logan?”
Logan stops, and looks at Rogue, something in his eyes spawns a feeling of déjà vu in her. The usual, serious, ‘Logan’ intensity is there, as always; but there’s something else. Something that makes her heart flutter. She’s startled to suddenly realize that he’s moved across the bed and is gently drawing her hands into his.
“Marie, ya know I’m not comfortable with letting my emotions out, ‘cause when I do, they always seem to be bad ones, and they end up just flooding out, uncontrolled. But, there’s somethin’ I wanna say here, so I’ll apologize now if it all comes out like a load o’manure.”
Marie smiled, and gave a small giggle. It spreads a warmth all through Logan, and he realizes it’s a familiar feeling.
“You’ve always been the one I could talk to. You’ve always been the one person I could count on to at least listen to my side of things before rushing to judgement. I never noticed the ‘routine’ of findin’ you, first thing when I get back, but once you pointed it out, it was so damned obvious.”
Logan swallowed hard, and continued.
“You see more than just the Wolverine. You see the man. YOU are the first person to not simply assume I was out for blood in my search for my past. And I really mean first! Even before me! YOU ask the damnedest questions! The ones that get me ta thinkin’. YOU asked; what am I lookin’ for? And really made me think about it. I’m sure ya got enough of me left up there…” Logan touched Marie’s temple gently, “ta know what I’d do, if I ever come across any o’those bastards from the labs.”
Marie nodded solemnly; it was something she didn’t hold against him. Those men simply did not qualify as human, she’d always agreed with him on that.
“But it wasn’t until yesterday that I got ta thinkin’ about the other things I maybe could find. Family?? I thought you were kiddin’! But when Scooter said the same exact thing, I knew ya weren’t, and that you were damned serious about the rest of it.”
Another short pause, and another hard swallow.
“Now, I don’t know how, but thinkin’ about something happenin’ ta my bike got all screwed up with thinkin’ about somethin’ happenin’ ta you. And I realized, the bike can get smashed ta bits, but, a bike? I can rebuild that. But, if somethin’ ever happened ta you….well….”
Logan had averted his eyes for those last few words, thinking he couldn’t handle the look of rejection he was sure would be in Marie’s eyes. These feelings were new and unexplored. Sure, they were good friends, hung out together, shared lots of good times. He knew she worried over him like a mother hen, but couldn’t see anything beyond that. Even when everyone in the mansion knew, if you messed with one you were messing with them both. This fact was one of the first things new residents were informed of, right after the grand tour and before room assignment.
Feeling Marie’s hands move to smooth around and hold his, Logan dared to raise his face, just for a peek. He found that same, warming smile, topped with eyes full of unshed tears and shining with so much emotion, it caught him off guard.
“Logan,” Marie began, "I have to admit that I never dared to dream for such a change in our friendship. I was always happy to just have you in my life any way I could,” the heartfelt statement seemed a surprise to them both. Any observer would see them both with wide-eyed expressions of shock, hope, happiness and several other converse emotions.
When one of them could finally find their voice, it was Logan. He sprung from his place on the bed, reaching for Marie, “Do ya mean it, Marie? If you do, darlin’, I’m gonna make you the happiest woman in the world, I swear!”
And, just as Logan was wrapping his arms around Marie to lift her into a bone-crushing hug, his vision blurred a moment, and the last thing he recalled was the ‘thudding’ sound of his knees hitting the floor.
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