Part 30- ‘Mean Streak…’
The tables were indeed turning, but Charles could have no way of knowing just how far, or even how far in their favour. Mystique was here, and however capable or ruthless he knew her to be, being here meant being in a bunker at least a couple of hundred miles underground surrounded by the enemy.
Mystique dressed up as one of them, dressed up as Bishop, but what did that mean? Was Bishop being held somewhere, had Mystique locked him up on his own little cage, or something else? Aware of Mystique’s vicious nature, Charles perhaps knew the certainty in the few moments it took to consider the possibilities.
Bishop was dead. Mystique wouldn’t take the risk or trouble of keeping him alive; she’d probably taken every pleasure in the poor bastard’s death. Charles found the corners of his mouth turn upward into a cold smile before he could stop himself. For the briefest moment he had actually enjoyed reflecting on the end of Bishop, exalting in the idea that he had suffered just as much as he deserved, as much as he had made the mutants in this room suffer.
It was the briefest moment, but it left Charles feeling cold. How far had he fallen to actually enjoy the idea of death, it was not him, hoped it would never be him. But this cage, this situation, these damned circumstances were tearing away at a soul he thought he could hold onto.
How much of his humanity had he already lost, how much of his compassion had already been eroded, and what did he have left? What did he have to hold onto, a hope, a prayer, or a dream?
Marie. His thoughts flew back to Marie …humanity, however much he had left, it was nothing compared to what they would rip from her. What they would take from her, a soul, a hope, a dream maybe more…and he would help them do it.
Mystique…which way would she force these tables to turn, how much humanity existed in her, how much compassion? Little or next to nothing at all, he couldn’t be surprised, they’d already taken the very essence of her, stripped her of that mutant DNA with that damn cure of theirs and she’d been through hell to get it back.
Charles had seen the way she’d looked at Magneto; she held all the cards, she could turn the tables anyway she wanted to, and humanity or compassion were not her strong suit.
Marie sat swinging her legs, kicking one foot out and then the other, watching the quiet rhythm she beat out, singing along to a song only she seemed to hear. She’d decided to visit the Doc just hours after sending Jesse there; she’d made the visit purely out of having nothing better to do.
She watched Doc McCoy quietly gathering his equipment, his massive figure taking up most of the med lab, the white lab coat he wore straining to contain his muscled physique.
Yet to Marie, he seemed to be completely comfortable. In this place, the lab and his lab coat he was completely at ease, a sense of belonging. Oddly enough the Doc was at home in this place, with its clinical white lines and cold steel, and even the oversized lab gurney she now sat on was home for him.
To anyone else that just wouldn’t have made sense, what with his huge hairy hands it’d look odd the way he knew his way around all the expensive and complicated equipment but he seemed perfectly attuned with everything in this place. He moved with precision, no wasted motion, everything perfectly in step, it was almost poetic.
She smiled wryly at him as he swung the tray of instruments around towards her; his own approach towards her was tentative, he smiled widely and stood stock still, almost as if he was waiting for some sort of cue.
‘I’m glad you finally came to see me Marie, I’ve been worried about that arm of yours, that makeshift sling doesn’t look entirely suitable.’ His deep voice rolled and seemed to fill the med lab just as much as his physical presence.
Marie laughed slightly, ‘Ya know what, you’re right Doc, it ain’t all that ‘suitable’,’ she began to undo the knot at the top of her shoulder, and pulled the material away dropping it to the floor. She straightened out her arm, stretching the muscle, and rotated the arm up and around.
‘Marie…wait, that’s…that’s impossible,’ and he was right it ought to have been, she had been shot, just days ago, any movement with that arm ought to have been medically impossible.
Marie couldn’t help but smile at the expression on the Doc’s face, seemed she was making a mess of his neat little theories and his neat little lab. He reached out, his large blue fingers touching the flesh of her shoulder tentatively, the glasses on the bridge of his nose pressed closer to have a look at what was now little more than a deep black scar.
Truth was she’d long felt the bullet wound healing over; the skin knitting together, the searing pain of torn flesh, muscle and bone had ebbed on their way back to the Academy, she’d kept the sling to avoid questions from Logan, and to give the rest of the x-kids here something to talk about.
She smiled at the inquisitive look on Doc’s face, the surprised expression, she had a habit of making impressions, glad she hadn’t lost that ability, she tapped Doc McCoy on the shoulder.
‘Doctor McCoy, ya ever play pool?’ the playful expression she wore did nothing to fool him.
He shook his head, ‘I’ve seen something of the way you play pool Marie, young Mr.Rivers was in dire need of a strong sedative not a few hours ago.’
‘Well in your case Doc, ah promise to only aim for the balls on the table…’ there was a menacing glint in her eye that assured him that was not entirely true.
‘Marie, I’d like to take some blood, perform an x-ray of this arm and perhaps a CT scan…that is if you would consent of course?’
He looked her over quizzically; there was something so intrinsically off about her, but whatever it was he was determined to crack it with science. Science he understood, science he could control, and could reason with, and for the same reasons he needed to understand Marie.
She shrugged her shoulders complying with his request, it made no difference now, the good Doc could probe and speculate all he wanted, it wasn’t gonna change a damn thing. But it would keep her busy for a few hours, something to do, after the last few months being back at the Academy was so timid, so stoic. Nothing moved and nothing happened; the damn stillness of it all was killin’ her.
The sooner she got these tests over with, the sooner she could go back to fuckin’ with everybody’s head, she still had her little games to play, sometimes a girl had to make her own sort of fun. And she would have her fun; this bitch was all about the payback.
She watched the Doc walk over to his little bank of computers, tapping away on the keyboard, she saw him take down notes, shaking his head now and again, muttering away.
‘Hey Doc…’ she called out to him, ‘what happened over on Capitol Hill? One too many Blue Man group jokes..?’
She watched him turn to her slowly, ‘Marie if you mean to inquire as to why I left my post as a White House advisor I believe there are less antagonistic means of getting the information you need.’
‘But Doc, where’s the fun in that?’ She smiled widely, he was not her enemy, and she had no reason to hate him, in fact between all of them Doc had the least to feel guilty about when it came to her, but she wanted to push him all the same.
He stood up and approached her carefully once more, ‘And do you mean to antagonise and isolate everyone here?’ His voice, gentle but inquisitive was a poor attempt at psychoanalysis, at least for her, she saw right through it.
‘Oh come on Doc, why the hell not, it ain’t as if ah’m planning to stick around, not for long anyhow.’ She was as guarded as ever, they made sure of that. Her little family, keeping her aware, making sure she saw right through them and the tricks they tried to play with her.
He dragged over a stool and sat opposite, stared directly into her eyes as he spoke, searching the depths, looking through, hoping to see…to see what? What did the scientist look for in the eyes, a consciousness, a truth, and the windows to a soul rationality and science told them they didn’t entirely believe in? What was he looking for, dilated pupils, the signs of a drug induced hallucination, or something else? Something Logan had spoken of, the others, remnant of a conscious, something other than this angry young woman, something more, something dangerous.
The silence dragged on, she didn’t move an inch, daring him to see, to stare into her eyes and see until it left him as haunted as she was. He spoke at last, ‘It’s a shame you won’t stay Marie, I’m sure there are many of us here who would miss you.’
She laughed outright at that, ‘Yeah like who? Kitty, Ms Munroe or Jesse…’
‘Logan…,’ he paused waiting for a reaction, she offered him none, ‘he would miss you Marie, just as much as he did the last time you left.’ He smiled softly, but she shook her head, smiling just as widely as he did.
‘Logan will get over it, or under it, whatever which way up the next dumb blonde likes her big bad Wolverine.’
‘You don’t really believe that do you Marie…?’ He pressed his large hands over her smaller ones, ‘I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but Logan was unbearable to be around for the next few weeks, you know he packed up all the things you left behind…’
She pulled her hands away, ‘Yeah Doc I heard all about that one, the little box he kept on that lonely little shelf of his, poor Logan right?’ Her voice was becoming menacing by the second. ‘If he misses me so much then why the hell did he come back last night smelling of cheap perfume and an easy lay?’
She stood up abruptly, ‘Ah’m sick of everyone expecting me to apologise for leavin’, way ah saw it back then nobody really gave a fuck.’ And then the anger was gone as quickly as it came, she seemed to take a deep breath, and that all knowing smile was back, ‘but ya know what Doc, it really doesn’t matter not anymore, whatever happened back then, between me and Logan, that’s exactly where it’ll stay, back there.’
‘There’s nothing left to say Doc, nothing to say that matters, it’s all ancient history, and if there’s one thing to say for history its that it’ll save you from makin’ the same mistakes twice.’
Logan had been sat on the porch steps nursing a beer and his ego when the Doc had come looking for him. He’d been reliving his own history lesson, and of course in his mind events ran a little differently. He’d seen them sat on these steps that night, the same night Marie had left, sharing a beer, her tears, wrapping her up in his arms, a kiss, maybe something more.
But nothing, nothing like what they were going through now, barely recognising her one minute from the other, hating and wanting her in the same breath, and instead having to leave at four in the morning to get drunk.
Or at least getting blurry eyed enough to pick up a dark haired girl to pretend, just to make believe for an hour. Make believe she’s lying underneath under him, staring deep into those brown eyes, tasting those plump lips of hers, wearing away the loneliness, burning away the hate for all the time they’ve wasted. Make believe that she smells of warm beer and ginger, and as she looks him wrapping her arms around his neck she’ll tell him she wants him as much as he’s wanted her, and it’ll be the truth.
The truths, in his make believe fantasy she’s never lied to him, and he’s never lied to her. Never been a coward, never rejected her with his lies, never forced her to leave, and when she tells him they’re alone together, really alone, without them,, and he looks into her eyes it’ll be the truth.
And make believe was exactly what it was; an hour later that dark haired girl was gone with the dollar bills he’d held out to her, and he’s left alone in that cheap motel room, staring at the floor with the room smelling of rough sex, and her cheap perfume clinging to his skin, a stink he’d take back to the Academy with him, and back to Marie.
Back to the real world, where regrets are plain for him to see, in the way she stares out at him, where he faces the consequences, where she won’t let him forget. And now standing in front of an x-ray trying to take in the Doc’s words make him realise just how far he is from his make believe world.
‘This is unprecedented Logan…’ Doc McCoy gestured emphatically at the light box, ‘so far I’ve only managed to retrieve the results for the x-rays but these are in themselves amazing.’
He stabbed at the x-ray, ‘You say the bullet entered here, and exited here through the top of the shoulder?’
Logan shrugged, ‘Yeah, clean exit wound, bullet from the sniper rifle just punched right through…’
‘But look…look at this, Marie was shot, what just three days ago? Yet the Scapula and the acromion bone which ought to have been completely shattered are remarkably healed. Not to mention the articular cartilage…’
‘What’re you trying to say Doc?’ Logan broke in impatiently.
‘This sort of injury should take weeks, months to heal, not to mention the therapy required to make the arm even remotely useful again, but with Marie it’s taken less than 72 hours…its simply remarkable…’ He stared at Logan, shaking his head slightly, ‘Her healing process is almost advanced as yours.’
Marie was hunched over raiding the back of the fridge when she found what she was looking for, Logan’s beer. She smiled as she made a grab for the bottles, climbing out she kicked the fridge door shut and held the beer behind her back.
She made her way to the roof of the Academy, sitting on the highest turret, her bare feet kicking over the edge she sipped the beer, revelling in the quietness of the night, and the cool night air ruffling her shirt and passing over her legs.
Staring out across the way she spied the dots of city lights in the distance blinking on the horizon, winking at her, tempting her across the divide. She leaned forward; she missed it all, that constant movement, the unpredictability of life out there, lost in a scene with people as fucked up as she was.
She’d promised them she wouldn’t stick it out at the Academy for long, she wasn’t going to stay, whatever little time she had left wouldn’t be wasted here, but curiosity played its part still.
‘Don’t ya know darlin’…curiosity killed the cat…’ She nodded in agreement with the voice, took another swig from her beer, and soothed away the memories of this place. Her history here was stained, with every bitter regret and misery she’d found since before and after the cure. What did she want from this place; the deal with Logan had been that she would stay just until the Doc had looked her over, well he’d looked her over, so she really had no reason to stay.
‘Nothing but a long overdue chance to settle old scores…’
‘There’s something else Logan, something about Marie, her attitude and the bitterness she seems hell bent on inflicting on everybody. Did you hear about what happened to Jesse?’
Logan nodded, he walked across and sat down heavily on the gurney, ‘Yeah, they tell me it wasn’t pretty.’
‘No it really wasn’t, but I think Marie almost enjoyed the pain she caused, its disturbing, but until I finish the tests I can’t be sure if the change in her can be attributed to drugs or something more intrinsic to her…’ The Doc trailed off, and Logan nodded, he’d never seen the usually calm, cultured Doctor look this anxious.
Marie had them all worried, not least because she was making no effort to get along with anybody, instead she was making it her jobs worth to get on the wrong side of everybody, leaving in them in no doubt she was back and no one was safe.
‘Ain’t no doubt about it Doc, the kid’s got a mean streak, about a half mile long.’
‘The innocence that you spoiled…’
She’d been enjoying the peace for as long as it lasted, it didn’t last long. She heard the heavy metal roof door slam shut, heard the shuffling of feet and the geeky looking kid from the pool match come to stand behind her.
‘Hey…’ his voice was just a bundle of nerves, and she half wondered once more if the kid had taken a wrong turn on his way to Scout camp.
‘What d’ya want kid?’ She called out gruffly, hoping he’d just turn back and leave, but she must have been losing her touch, because instead of leaving he sat down next to her, shuffling uneasily trying to get comfortable.
‘I just wanted to say thanks again, you know, for helping me out back there…you’re Marie right?’ He said all this in a hurried nervous breath of words she only just managed to catch.
She really must be losing her touch, because instead of telling him to piss off, she sighed and took pity on the nervous kid, and offered him a beer, he reached out smiling widely before she stopped, ‘wait how old are ya kid?’
’21…?’ he offered hopefully, still smiling.
She scoffed, ‘yeah right, sorry kid ah ain’t buying it…’ she put the bottle back down, leaving the kid empty handed.
He protested, ‘you’re not exactly legal age either,’ she turned to look at him, a little surprised at the voice he’d seemed to have found. She smiled, ‘trust me kid, ah’m older in ways you can’t even imagine.’
They sat in silence, staring out across the darkness dazed by the lights blinking at them.
‘You took the cure didn’t you?’
He broke the silence with the one question that could have surprised her. She stared at him, shaking her head slightly, not quite believing she had heard right. Turned out she was actually beginning to like this kid, if nothing else he sure had a nerve.
‘Jeez kid…get straight to the fuckin’ point why don’t ya?’ He shrugged still waiting for an answer. ‘So what if I did…?’ her reply came more as a challenge.
He seemed to hunch over then, held out his hands in front of him and stared at them. ‘I thought about it, the cure I mean…I wanted to, stood in that queue for hours but when it finally came down to it…I couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t.’
He stared at her, and staring back into those eyes, Marie thought she saw something of herself. Something like that kid she had been, standing in a queue over a year ago, scared witless, but knowing she had nowhere else left to turn.
Surprising herself she reached out and took and took the kids hand in her own, held on, ‘what’s your poison kid?’ She asked him, holding up his hand, indicating his mutancy, the part of himself he’d tried to and failed to get rid of.
‘EMP, electro-magnetic pulse, used to be a time I’d walk into a room and everything magnetic would just go haywire, phones, radios, computers, even damn toasters would just explode. Got to the point, Mum and Dad had to wrap my room literally in plastic and foil, lived like that for months, sort of a fucked up cocoon. They saw the report about the cure, pushed me to go for it, and I did, saw what my ‘disability’ was doing to them, so I went…but I couldn’t go through with it, felt too much like…too much like…’
‘Like rape…?’ They were both surprised to find she finished the sentence for him. He nodded, holding on to her hand just that little bit tighter.
‘Yeah…I couldn’t do it, it would’ve been like ripping a part of myself out, and whatever it was putting me through, whatever Mum and Dad had been through I just couldn’t, so I ended up here. I’ve gotten better control of it now…it isn’t as random as it used to be, and I’m happier…’
She nodded, ‘right, well ya can trust me kid that won’t last, least not here.’ Her voice was tinged with bitterness, she’d underestimated this kid, and he’d proved himself tougher than she’d given him credit for.
‘But I guess that’s me, just ‘cause I couldn’t go through with it doesn’t mean the cure was wrong for anybody else…’ he smiled at her, his voice placating.
‘Nice save kid,’ she laughed slightly, ‘by “anybody else” ya mean me right?’ she held up his hand once more, the touch of her skin on his still made her look twice, ‘time was kid that holding on to you like this meant ah’d end up bleeding ya dry, before that cure ah was stuck in a cage, a prisoner in ma own skin.’
She took a deep breath, this was the longest conversation she’d ever had about her choice and it was with a relative stranger, a kid she’d met just a couple hours ago, but somehow it all seemed to make sense, ‘Ah had nothin’ to lose, and everythin’ ah ever wanted to gain, there wasn’t a choice, not really and yeah it hurt like hell, but ah wouldn’t change a damn thing, not even now.’
Marie untangled her hand from his took another deep swig of beer, wiping her mouth with the back of her shirt sleeve, surprised to see her hand shaking, she ground her hand into a fist, ‘Ya ever been scared kid?’
He was surprised at her question, she smiled gently, ‘ah mean really scared, so much so that ya think you’re hearts gonna stop, it hurts to breathe, and your blood pounds through your veins at a hundred miles an hour, so damn loud ya think the whole room should be able to hear it?’
‘Ya ever been that sort of scared Charlie?’ he could only shake his head, quietly pleased she’d remembered his name, but caught up in her words, she sighs wistfully and he leans towards her slightly eager for more, everything he’s heard about Marie doesn’t even seem to come close to what he’s seen in her tonight.
‘Ah thought ah used to be scared like that, long time ago, ah used to have a fear of flies.’ She shrugs her shoulders, ‘ah just hated the damn things, summer months in the South was just hell for me.’ She laughs quietly then, ‘it was irrational and stupid, and not even a fear really, give me a spider, a cockroach or any other creepy crawly and ah was a pro,’ she laughs once more, ‘but flies, fuck it ah just couldn’t handle flies but ah thought that was the worse it would get.’
And all of a sudden the words seem to stick in her throat, there’s a glint in her eye, its not dangerous, not to Charlie anyhow, if anything its sadness, memory lane has ghosts that seem to swallow her up. She shakes her head, the white bangs of hair fall into her eyes and she doesn’t bother pushing them back. They’re a curtain passing over her eyes and Charlie can’t see anymore.
But he can hear her, and though she spoke softer now, the sadness is still there, ‘By the time ah turned fifteen d’ya wanna know what ah was scared of…?’ The silence stretches on, ‘that the next time ah touched someone they’d die.’
Marie stood up abruptly, ‘that was the first time ah knew what being scared really meant, what fear was, at fifteen years old ah knew ma life was over, ah would never to be able to touch someone again, my first kiss was my last.’
She hurled the empty beer bottle into the night air, it smashed somewhere down below, ‘and living like that, it wasn’t really living at all. Then they said there was a cure, and ah knew what ah had to do, ah could either live with what ah was, spend the rest of ma life afraid or…or ah could take it all back, take back everything that had been ripped from me.’
Charlie turned to face her, he picked up the empty beer bottles, smiling gently at her, she shook her head slightly, ‘only it never worked out that way, ah couldn’t get it back, couldn’t get it the way it used to be…ah couldn’t feel it,’ for the first time that night he hears her voice break ever so slightly.
She stretched out her arms, ‘they wouldn’t let me forget…’ she gestured towards the Academy, ‘and they wouldn’t forgive, ah was scared all over again, and they made me feel that way. This little family that takes strangers off the street, that welcomes all mutants wouldn’t help me, wouldn’t save me.’
And it’s the anger that comes off her in waves now, he can see into her eyes now, and they shine with a different sort of light, not sadness or remembrance, she’s all but slain the ghosts along that memory lane.
‘So ah left and it was the best choice ah ever made, ah killed the fear, ah saved myself, without this damn Academy that spat me out, ah fixed it, ah fixed it the way ah had to…’
Marie takes a deep breath, leaning into Charlie, she whispers maniacally, ‘don’t trust them kid, and don’t ever rely on them, they will always let you down.’
She turned to walk back towards the roof door, and walked straight into Logan, she wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there or even how much he’d heard, and she just didn’t care. Instead she smiles sweetly and brushes past him, slamming the door as she exits.
Charlie hurries past quickly, barely a glance at the mean looking Logan, built like a house and twice as scary to a fourteen year old kid like Charlie.
Logan has heard only the last line she offered the scared looking kid, thinking she’d been living up to her reputation, and he knows with Marie he’d better reassess that mean streak, half a mile just wasn’t long enough.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
A/N:Haven't touched this story in a while, just hope I haven't lost it...