It didn't take me very long to find her once I was on the right train.
Not only did I immediately pick up the scent that had forever etched itself into my sensual memory the very first time we met, but I also spotted the top of her dark green hooded cloak peeking over the back of her seat.
My steps slowed down as I approached her from behind, coming to a halt as soon as I could see her. With only half-opened eyes, she was staring down onto her gloved hands that lay in her lap.
“Hey, kid,” I greeted her.
With a small tremor rocking through her fragile body, she looked up at me, seeming a little startled...scared, even? I wasn't sure whether she wanted my company, but I had to talk to her, I had to make things right. Bring her home.
Hesitantly, I slid into the free seat next to hers and let out a quiet sigh that was the expression of my insecurity.
Turning my head to look at her, I saw sadness and deep worry darken her innocent features.
Though I was certain she had heard me, she didn't reply or acknowledge my presence.
We were wrapped in a somewhat awkward silence while I attempted to find the right words inside my head. But what do you say to a girl you stabbed, almost killed and who then ran away from the only shelter she has in this world because of you?
“I'm sorry about last night,” I finally told her, sincerely hoping she felt what I was trying to put into my words. They were a only a weak echo of all the things I wanted to say to her and couldn't; the things I wanted to do to make her feel better but didn't know how to.
“Me, too,” she replied quietly.
I blinked a couple of times, brows furrowed, thinking. For a moment I was at a loss about what she had to apologize for, but then I remembered that she hadn't been much farther away from taking my life than I had been from ending hers. It seemed so trivial, so small, in comparison.
“You running again?” I asked her.
I should be the one running away from the mess I created, not her. The weight of the world shouldn't be on the shoulders of a little girl.
She turned away from me again and took a breath to steady herself, before she muttered, “I heard the professor was mad at me.”
I wasn't sure if that was the real reason or if she was simply trying to make me feel less guilty by pretending that she hadn't in fact left because she was scared of me. It was the last thing I ever wanted, for her to have to be afraid of me.
Either way, the explanation she had given me wasn't the most durable. Xavier was far away from being mad at her; he was very concerned about her wellbeing.
“Who told you that?,” I inquired, because she certainly hadn't come up with that idea on her own.
“A boy at school,” she said vaguely and turned to look at me again. “You think I should go back.”
“I think you should follow your instincts,” I quickly threw in.
I didn't want her to think that I was participating in one of their little missions to recruit new students or whatever it was they did. I was here for her, because I wanted her to be safe. If she didn't want to go back to the school, I wouldn't make her.
She closed her eyes for a brief moment and swallowed before returning my questioning look.
“The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for 3 weeks.”
The emotion in her voice and the intensity of her words touched me in ways I had never known existed.
It must have been a traumatic experience that she had spent her time recovering from while she had been running away from her old life.
Empathy wasn't usually one of my strengths but we were too much alike for me to not feel with her. Two of a kind: loners, always on the run, always ready to leave everything behind when anything or anyone got too close or when things went wrong.
“I can still feel him inside my head, and it's the same with you,” she whispered and I had to turn away. Nobody deserved to have me inside their head, least of all the kid. I couldn't decide what was worse, stabbing her or my mind haunting her every waking minute.
Two little tears silently rolled down her pale cheeks while she was making her best efforts to keep herself together.
I had no idea what I could do and rested immobile for an uncomfortable moment before I chose to comply to my instinct and awkwardly wrapped one arm around her small, trembling shoulders while she silently whimpered.
I pulled her closer, offering her my shoulder to lean and cry upon; it was all I could give her right now. Taking one more deep breath, she snuggled closer to me and I protectively placed my hand on top of the thick fabric of her hood.
“There's not many people that'll understand what you're going through...but I think this guy Xavier's one of them. He seems to genuinely wanna help you. And that's a rare thing...”
I attempted to look at her to be able to read her reaction to my words and find out what she was thinking, but I couldn't see much of her face.
“...for people like us.”
Her breath hitched and she froze, ever so slowly raising her head to be able to look at me. Her beautiful, half-closed hazel eyes were still wet with tears and I spotted something in them that made me shiver.
Unintentionally, I dropped my gaze to her full lips that were trembling slightly.
I knew that look and even though she was much too young and inexperienced to use it consciously, it made me shiver. The air between us was thick with expectations and tension.
It was time for the train to start and the red leather seats beneath us to rock a little, giving us an opportunity to awkwardly disentangle; for her to back into the corner, putting a distance between us and for me to ask her to give that geek squad at the school another chance.
But the train didn't start.
And I wanted to help her so desperately that it was tearing my insides apart.
Her first kiss had put a boy in a coma, wasn't that what she had said?
There was nothing I wanted more than to make her forget about all that, to show her that it wasn't her fault that she had hurt him and that all of this didn't mean she couldn't have a beautiful life full of love.
It was wrong, it was so wrong and it would only make everything worse to act on my instinct now, but it was the only thing I knew how to do.
Inhaling her sweet vanilla scent and letting the innocence and purity she radiated cloud my mind, I bent my head and brought my face closer to hers until our lips were merely an inch apart.
She didn't show any indication of fear when I reached for her with my free hand to intertwine our fingers and then gently pressed my lips to hers.
For a brief moment, it was heaven. She was soft and warm and tasted like cherries, and there was nothing in this world that could have been better than sitting in an old train with Marie, holding her hand and kissing her lips while the whole world was going to hell.
I had been prepared for her mutation to kick in and was by now familiar with the pull that channeled my powers into her body.
Despite that, the force with which it took its effect had me gasping and my fingers clenching into the thick fabric of her cloak. The waves rippled through my body like an electric shock, increasing in strength and frequency.
While her gloved fingers squeezed mine tightly, I felt her try to break away from the kiss, no wanting to hurt me.
But I knew my limits and we hadn't reached them, so there was no need to end this blissful union any sooner than we had to.
With one last soft and slow brush of my lips against hers, I tried to send her the few good and pure things that I was capable of feeling along with my abilities. She had to know that I cared about her; that I was doing everything in my power to make her happy again.
We both gasped in a mix of pain and pleasure when I pulled away, struggling to remain conscious. Her thumb, that was drawing small, soothing circles on my knuckles, was my link to the real world. I held on to the gentle caress as I slowly felt the pain subside and clarity return to my head.
“Are you okay?” she asked shyly, her Bambi eyes wide in worry and wonder.
I nodded and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. The world was still spinning around me and every breath burnt me up inside, but I was determined to be strong for her.
“You ready to get outta here?”
“Mhm-hm.”
I picked up her duffel bag from between her feet and we both rose and stepped out in the aisle, never letting go of each other's hands.
“Are you taking me back to the school, Logan?” she asked after we had descended from the train and the relief to finally have her back on solid ground had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
“You don't want to go back,” I stated.
“I'm not ready,” she whispered. “I can't go back right away and have the other kids look at me like I'm some kind of freak...even though I am.”
The tears that had just sieged were pooling in her eyes once more. How could I make her see the truth; that she wasn't a freak – or anything but just plain wonderful?
“Listen, kid. You're not a freak and none of this was your fault, okay? And if you want to let some time pass before you go back to school, then that's what we'll do.”
“We...?” she asked insecurely, slowing down a little and looking up at me from the corner of her eye while we were making our way towards the exit of the train station.
“Come on, I'll take care of you,” I told her earnestly, placing one hand on the small of her back to gently nudge her forward.
“You promise?”
There was still a hint of insecurity in her eyes, a flicker of fear that she tried her best to hide. She needed a constant in her life and some stability; none of which I was sure I could offer her.
Right now, all I could give her was my reassurance and my promise. Making her believe in it was a whole other story.
“Yeah. Yeah, I promise.“
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Story Notes:
I stole the title from a song by Stellastarr which reminds me of Logan and Rogue, but the story doesn't really have anything to do with the song.
biggest inspiration to write this: Marie's kiss me face in the train scene. am I the only one who thought it was a kiss me face?
when I first watched the movie I honestly thought he'd kiss her...! but since he didn't, I had to make him *grins*
biggest inspiration to write this: Marie's kiss me face in the train scene. am I the only one who thought it was a kiss me face?
when I first watched the movie I honestly thought he'd kiss her...! but since he didn't, I had to make him *grins*
Author's Chapter Notes:
I suspect Logan sounds like the hero of a 1$ romance novel in some parts. but then again, we always knew he had a soft side ;)
Chapter End Notes:
reviews are love, no matter if they're good or bad. I've been working very hard on trying to improve my writing style but I'm not sure it worked. so, if you guys got any advice to offer or anything, just shoot, I'll be happy ;)