I was greeted with cheers when I snuck into my shared room in the early morning, my friends' jovial mood bringing a smile to my face.
“Thought you could fool us, huh? Sneak out and back in and we'd think you'd never been gone?” Jubilee teased me and I plopped down onto my bed with a laugh.
“I wasn't trying to fool you,” I replied innocently, my accent suddenly thicker than usually. “I got nothing to hide.”
Kitty giggled absently while she was looking through her closet in search of clothes for the day.
“You guys aren't gonna tell anyone though, right?” I asked, serious again. “I mean, it's not like we've been doing anything that...we shouldn't be...but I'm sure the teachers wouldn't like it if they knew I sleep in his room.”
“We won't tell,” Kitty replied reassuringly and finally seemed satisfied with the blue sweater she had pulled out of her wardrobe.
“That is, if you keep quiet about the juicy details of our love lives,” Jubilee retorted and received a snort from Kitty. “Like there even are any juicy details, Jubes.”
I listened to their happy banter while I picked out some clothes as well, resorting to the small drawer full of Jubilee's non-yellow things. I would have loved to wear some of Kitty's clothes, because they were a little less flashy than Jubilee's, but she was much shorter than me, so they wouldn't fit. I finally settled for a pair of blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt.
After the week I'd had so far, this seemed almost disturbingly normal. Trivial, even. With all my cursing of my mutation and wishing to be nothing but a regular girl, it had never occurred to me that in fact I didn't want normal, couldn't want it anymore. I had seen too much by now to go back to this. Moments like this one could keep me grounded while all the insanity of the world outside came crashing down, but they wouldn't be enough on their own.
I thought of Logan and the way he wanted to spare me from all the horrible things that were out there, protect me even from himself, but I was ready to face the things I needed to.
That didn't mean I didn't want to get rid of my mutation, or learn to control it at least, but it meant that I was prepared to act like an adult when I needed to. That I could save Logan in my very own ways, a little like I had last night. But didn't it also mean I could protect him when he needed it?
I had put myself into a lot of danger with my naïve attempt to fight Sabretooth, but if I thought things through and planned everything carefully, there must be a possibility to help him in the battle against Magneto....a plan started forming in the back of my head, thoughts racing and tripping over one another, chasing each other...no, I couldn't think about it.
I would see Logan at breakfast and he would know right away if anything was up...I took a couple of deep breaths and pushed my spiralling ideas into a corner of my mind. Later. Later. Later...
“Hurry up, girlfriend, we're late for breakfast,” Jubilee interrupted my train of thought and I quickly changed and brushed my hair, tying it into a loose ponytail.
I threw one last checking glance to the mirror and contently saw that the dark shadows under my eyes from staying up most of the night were completely gone. There was only soft, rosy skin – courtesy of Logan's superhealing, thanks very much.
I also wasn't feeling tired at all, which I noted with a strange feeling of euphoria mixed with guilt. I felt like I was cheating life just a tiny little bit, because looking and feeling well-rested after about three hours of sleep was a perk that none of the other girls would ever get to enjoy. But hey, there had to be some kind of upside to having killer skin.
Logan had convincingly explained to me that falling asleep in class on my first real day of school wouldn't exactly encourage my teachers to be easy on us and I had been forced to admit he had made a valuable point, so I had let him charge me up a little. Not that I minded the kiss that had come with that....I smiled to myself, following my friends down the stairs. This would definitely keep my mind occupied and distracted from any master plans for a while.
~x~
Breakfast came and went and I felt like there were less people staring at us than at dinner the night before. It might have been wishful thinking or it might have been the fact that I cared less than just twelve hours ago.
Logan seemed relatively okay, considering the revelations of the previous night and the touchy subject of the coming one. I had seen in his thoughts how he felt about fighting in tonight's battle and I sort of got it. Especially now that he knew more about himself, he felt guilty, like he constantly had to make up for something; mainly for me, which in turn made me feel guilty. We would have been the textbook example dysfunctional if we hadn't been so amazingly perfect together. This way, we were...well, intense. We burnt each other out but at the same time, we generated so much strength by just being together that we could stand that and much more.
“You got a free period or something?” Logan asked while walking me to my first class.
“Uh...no I don't think so.” I looked through the schedule I had put together for myself and shook my head. “I got my first four periods with Kitty, Jubes and the guys, then they all have Mechanics with Scott, which I decided to trade for French...then lunch, History with Storm and Bio with Jean...and then I'm meeting Professor Xavier for my first session of practicing control. So for the next...8 hours, I'll only see you during lunch.”
I let out a frustrated sigh that mirrored Logan's facial expression. We hadn't been separated for a longer period of time than a couple of hours in the past few days and even that had felt strange.
“Ya wanna ask Fire and Ice over there how they do the whole separation thing? Coz I just might steal you from class a couple times today, which is even slightly less productive than having you fall asleep in there...”
“I think we'll just get used to it,” I replied unconvincingly.
We arrived in front of my Math room (I could think of very few worse ways of starting the day than Math) and I hugged Logan tightly before waving a quick goodbye to him and disappearing into the classroom. We were both more or less calm, but I knew he felt the same anxiety beginning to rise that I did because of the mission tonight...it seemed useless to spend the bigger part of the day in class when something might happen to him tonight...I swallowed hard and pushed the thought aside. Nothing would happen to Logan...I would make sure of that.
I nervously tugged my gloves into place while thinking about the idea that had popped up in my head this morning. What was to keep me from going to Liberty Island tonight and give the X-Men a bit of an advantage? Okay, so common sense and self-preservation might spring to mind. But ignoring that for a moment and considering the possibilities within the realm of realistic, I could be quite useful in this particular fight.
They could use me as bait to distract Magneto. They could have me absorb his powers and use them against him instead of powering the machine. They could do so many things with me that none of them considered because I was just a kid, one of the fragile little creatures that needed to be protected rather than dragged onto the battlefield. And while some part of me didn't mind staying home and letting others save the world, a more predominant part told me that it was my turn to keep Logan safe tonight.
Of course I couldn't just dash into a strategy meeting and generously offer my services to the X-Men, because they wouldn't let me go. I would have to be smarter than that...I would have to go in on my own without anyone noticing and make a surprise appearance. But I couldn't just run into the enemy's arms blindly and all alone...
~x~
The classroom had filled up by now and I took a look around. What I needed was most likely a partner in crime with powers I could absorb, or maybe someone who could get me to Liberty Island in the first place...but I couldn't ask that of anyone, could I? It was one thing to borrow Logan's powers, but a whole other story to drain someone who didn't heal as fast as he did.
John sat down behind the desk between Kitty's and mine and I took my chance when he nodded a greeting to me.
“John,” I whispered, leaning in so that nobody could overhear our conversation. “I need your help.”
“Sure, what for?” he replied casually.
“Uhm...I need to get to Liberty Island tonight. And I have to fight Magneto.”
John looked at me with furrowed brows. “And why in the world would you wanna do that? Don't get me wrong, I'm always up for a good fight, but this is sort of a big deal. Real danger and all.”
“I know,” I muttered, staring at my hands. “But...John, what would you do if Bobby was gonna be out there and - ” My voice broke as I felt his eyes pierce into me.
“They're sending Logan out on a mission against Magneto?”
I nodded silently and John shook his head. “That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.”
“Everyone's going, Mr. Summers, Storm, Dr. Grey...and there's this guy, Sabretooth, and apparently Logan is the only one who can take him, but...I'm just so scared...”
“So you wanna go up against Magneto to protect Logan from him...”
“It is a stupid idea,” I admitted in a small voice. “But I have to do it.”
“Yeah, I know.” John nodded thoughtfully. “We're in.”
“We?”
“Bobby and I.”
I looked at him in doubt. “Bobby? Really?”
“He'll understand. Believe me.”
Though I knew how Bobby felt about Logan, I trusted John's judgment.
“I...I don't know what to say. This means a lot, John. And I feel like I'm using you - ”
“Oh, shut up. I'm dying for some action. And Bobby...well, it'll be a nice change for him, he doesn't get out much.” He winked at me and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head, looking perfectly at ease. “Besides, I've never seen the Statue of Liberty.”
“Last ferry leaves at 5,” I told him in my best tour guide voice, surprised that I even still remembered that information from a field trip to New York City over a year ago.
I mentally went through my mission step by step.
We would need to get down to the City, I would have to come up with a convincing excuse for missing my first session with the Professor and I wouldn't be able to spend any time with Logan before the big fight. I hated that thought. But maybe it was better that way...the more time I spent with him, the more likely it was for him to notice that something was up.
I didn't really waste any thoughts on our way back home, assuming that the teachers wouldn't be too angry to deny us a ride back on the Jet and carefully avoiding the possibility of not needing a ride home.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
the plot thickens... (plot, what plot? ;) )