Of all the things I had expected the kids at the school to do, accepting me back with open arms had been one of the less probable possibilities.
Both Kitty and Jubilee actually hugged me when they first saw me on my feet again, even though I wasn't wearing my gloves and my arms were bare up the my elbows.
Bobby did the same and while I let him hold on a few seconds longer than necessary and listened to the relieved exclamations about my health that bubbled out of his mouth, I wondered how I could ever have been so oblivious not to notice that whoever had told me it was better to leave the school couldn't possibly have been him.
Kitty was warm and friendly, but a little reserved; in contrast to Jubilee, who treated me like we had known each other for years and not days.
It was also her who first came out with the question that I suspected was burning on everyone's tongues. It was remarkable that she had lasted the two hours the four of us had already spent in the rec room, watching a bunch of random shows on TV and sharing a huge bowl of popcorn.
“So Rogue, I'm literally dying to know: What's the deal with you and Wolverine?” she asked, and suddenly all eyes were on me.
“Uhm...” I blushed furiously and pointlessly looked over to Bobby for help. “Well, we...I guess we're...together?”
It was still strange to have to give a label to what exactly we were when we hadn't exactly worked that out ourselves.
Professor Xavier had called it love and even though I had no doubt that it was exactly that, it still felt strange to hear it out loud or even say it.
Calling Logan a boyfriend would seem silly for various reasons. For instance, the term brought nights at the movie theater, making out in our parents' cars and mushy text messages to mind, which was about as far from us as it could get.
“How'd that happen?” Jubilee blurted out and received an exasperated glare by Kitty.
“She has no tact,” Kitty apologized.
“Come on, we've all been wondering. I mean, he stabs her, she drains him – doesn't scream “potential love story” to me. No offence, chica.”
“It's...it's different. He just kind of gets me, you know? And there's this thing between us, like this bond. I don't know how to explain it, but...”
There must have been an absent, dreamy smile on my face at this point, but surprisingly, the others were polite enough not to point that out.
“Is he actually nice to you?” Bobby asked, looking a little worried. “He always seems so...grumpy and mean.”
“He's very sweet,” I replied, my voice on the border to being defensive. I paused and paid more attention to being friendly when I spoke again. “He's different when it's just us.”
They seemed to be content with that and I quickly changed the topic to something lighter; school. Due to the numerous interruptions of my everyday schedule, I still hadn't really chosen my classes and took the chance to receive some advice. The only thing I was sure about so far was that I wouldn't take any of Scott's classes.
~x~
After having been given a lengthy All You Ever Wanted To Know About Mutant High But Never Dared To Ask talk, I accompanied my friends to dinner, where I was finally reunited with Logan. He was already seated at the long table that the teachers shared, occupying a too-small extra chair next to Storm and looking extremely uncomfortable.
When I entered the cafeteria, his head snapped up and he gave me a relieved half-smile that spelled “Finally!”
Abandoning my friends for the moment, I rushed to his side and felt the uncomfortable sensation of distress that had spread in my stomach over the past few hours disappear.
“Sorry, that took longer than expected,” I whispered.
I really wanted to bend over and kiss him but it didn't seem appropriate, given we had the entire dining hall staring at us already. So I settled for cupping his face with one gloved hand, brushing my thumb across his cheek. Logan closed his eyes for a short moment and we both relaxed at the comforting touch.
“Don't worry 'bout that,” he replied, bringing my other hand to his lips to kiss my fingers through the thin, shiny material. “Those kids treat you nice?”
I smiled at the question that was amusingly similar to Bobby's earlier concerns.
“They were truly great. I think I was wrong about them before, when I thought they'd judge me...”
Logan grunted his approval and his eyes wandered over to my waiting friends.
“I think they want you to come sit with 'em,” he assessed, his eyes darkening at the prospect of having to let me go again after only a few seconds together.
“I know...you coming?” I proposed hopefully.
He gave me an unsure look, probably weighing his options in his head.
It would be a little weird for him to eat with a bunch of teenagers, but downright inappropriate for me to sit with my teachers.
Since splitting up was obviously not an option, as we confirmed to each other with the exchange of a smile, he rose from his chair and reluctantly followed me over to where Kitty and Jubilee had taken their seats across the table from Bobby.
I slid onto the vacant chair next to Bobby and pulled Logan down onto the chair next to me.
He nodded a gruff greeting to my friends, who returned it with a little more enthusiasm.
Jubilee winked at me and mouthed “cute”; I giggled and wanted to reply something, but was distracted by a familiar yet foreign atmosphere that lay in the air as soon as John walked over to our table and took his usual seat next to Bobby.
I was fairly sure he had asked me how I was feeling and said that it was good to have me back, but I was too preoccupied with what was happening to Bobby to pay attention to anyone's questions. His face had lit up and visibly relaxed the moment that John had slid into his seat.
The boys had exchanged the briefest look that I wouldn't have considered to hold any meaning if I hadn't known it so well.
Checking Logan's reaction, I found that he was staring at the two of them with the same mix of intrigue and wonder.
Bobby met my eyes for a second and then turned to John for confirmation of his suspicion, receiving an answer that never made its way to his mouth or anyone's ears.
Their silent communication continued, held merely by looks and nearly unnoticeable changes in their postures.
They engaged in a conversation with Kitty and Jubilee, but maintained their occasional exchanges without the girls noticing.
“Fire and ice,” I whispered to Logan excitedly, squeezing his hand. “They're just like us.”
“I hope not,” he said sarcastically, raising one eyebrow at the guys.
“Ugh! I didn't mean that!” I slapped his thigh under the table. I would save my LGBT Rights lecture for later. “That bonding thing with their mutations...and look at the way they talk, it's almost like telepathy, that's really cool.”
Bobby didn't appear to view the revelation of our similar connections quite that positively. When the girls turned to chattering among just the two of them, he whispered something to John that was so low that I couldn't hear it, but Logan answered my questioning look with a quick interpretation.
“He doesn't like us together because he thinks I'm a big creep and not good enough for you. And he was hoping that he was wrong about that whole bond thing between us. But his little friend over there just confirmed it and now Bobby's pissed because he knows it'll be a permanent thing,” he summarized humorlessly.
I looked at Bobby with wide, reproachful eyes and demonstratively rested my head against Logan's upper arm, scooting closer to the edge of my chair.
“It's just because they don't know you,” I muttered to Logan. “And they're scared, that's all. Don't be mad at Bobby, he just...he doesn't know what he's saying. He's actually really sweet.”
“I know,” he replied. “I'm not worried for me. I just don't want them giving you a hard time is all.”
“They won't. Jubilee and Kitty have been really nice. And Bobby's just – ”
“In love with you?” Logan asked tightly.
“No!” I exclaimed in a startled gasp.
I had never wasted much thought to Bobby's feelings for me. He had just been making me feel welcome because he had sat next to me in my first class. And he was close friends with Kitty, so it would make sense that he was around us a lot...I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt my headache from earlier return. This was all wrong.
A second ago I had been so happy, having found out that Bobby and John shared a connection much like the one Logan and I had recently discovered and fascinated by their subtle way of communication and of how attuned they were to each other. There could have been such interesting conversations and exchanges of experiences...but now Logan had succeeded in turning everything into an awkward mess.
“It's not true,” I tried to convince both him and myself. He noticed how upset I was over what he had said and quickly wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to...I shouldn't have said that, should I?”
I sighed in defeat and frustration, shrugging.
“'s okay. I just...wouldn't have noticed, I guess.”
“That's because you have no idea how wonderful you are,” Logan whispered into my ear in a low voice. “How sweet and beautiful and desirable...”
“Oh my God, stop it,” I giggled, feeling a blush color my cheeks.
I was grateful for the light-hearted turn the conversation was taking thought, because as sure as I was of what we had, that didn't make me immune to being afraid of losing it.
Bobby was exactly the kind of person everybody at school would typically picture me with. He wasn't too old, too violent, too unfriendly or too irresponsible – neither was Logan, but nobody seemed to be very interested in the truth around here when assumptions and accusations provided so much more of a thrill.
We had known from the very beginning that it wouldn't be easy to defend our relationship against all kinds of exterior pressure, but had been in sweet denial about that for as long as possible.
The aggressive sort of pressure, as displayed by Scott, was fairly easy to deal with. I had surprised and scared myself with my rigorous outburst earlier that day, but had also felt infinitely satisfied afterwards.
Bobby, however, was the manifestation of fate dangling an alternative reality in front of my face; the easy and supposed-to-be-that-way possibility of living my life. And even thought I was nowhere near even considering to choose that one, it was somewhat distressing to know it existed.
I really liked Bobby and valued the friendship we were in the process of building and didn't really need any complications in that. Simply put, I didn't like hurting people; especially those who didn't deserve it.
Much more dangerous than all of those things however, were Logan and I to ourselves.
Even though we didn't doubt our feelings for each other, I had felt a humble guilt within his mind that urged him to ignore his emotions and give me the chance to lead an easier life. Behind the big mouth and the boldness, Logan hid the way he really saw himself; and it had nothing in common with his usual display of arrogance.
Though flattering, it was almost scary to know that he put me up on some sort of shrine, considering me to be closer to an angel than a human being – and himself, well...I preferred not to think about that too much.
But that part of his mind wasn't predominant and the fraction of mine that held doubt certainly wasn't, either. As long as we believed in our love, we had a chance. We could make it.
“You know what?” I whispered to Logan, who had by now removed his arm from around me and gone back to just holding my hand, not wanting to make me feel awkward in front of my class mates and teachers.
“What, darling?”
“I really don't care what they say,” I replied breathlessly before meeting his lips in a hungry kiss that was short enough to protect him from most of my powers but long enough to have the entire cafeteria stare at us once more.
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