She looked so peaceful in her sleep.
Nobody would expect the calm strength behind her timid facade, the fierce courage that she displayed to everyone who tried to give us a hard time.
It had been an exhausting day for Marie and she had fallen asleep almost right after we had returned to my room after dinner. She was breathing deeply, her lips slightly parted and her auburn hair, still a little damp from showering earlier, falling into her face.
I could have stared at her sleeping form for the rest of the night, but it was getting late and I had to go to Chuck's meeting. I pressed a quick kiss against Marie's hair before I reluctantly rolled out of bed and quietly made my way out of the room, careful not to wake her up.
Entering the Professor's office, I was met with an icy glare from Scott and noticeably warmer, yet somewhat distant greetings from Jean and Storm. It seemed more than obvious that nobody wanted me here, I concluded, but was immediately reassured of the opposite.
They just don't trust you yet.
Get out of my head, would ya, Chuck?
You're not making it easy for them, either.
I'm here to get a job done, not to make new friends, I thought grimly.
He nodded generously and motioned for me to take a seat next to Storm.
We spent the next ten minutes or so listening to the mission plan that Scott and the Professor had come up with.
Apparently Magneto was going to place his magic machine inside the torch of the Statue of Liberty, where he would not be disturbed by anyone.
His original plan was to transfer his powers to Marie and put her into it and in case that didn't work out, the backup plan was very likely to result in his death – which was more than fine with me, to put it bluntly. No need for an intervention of any kind. But I knew that nobody would agree with that kind of opinion though and decided to keep my mouth shut this time.
The Professor proceeded to explain that the execution of Magneto's Plan B might seem to put us at an advantage, but was ethically incorrect. He didn't want his old friend to die for a number of reasons that completely escaped me and more importantly, he didn't want the members of the UN Summit to be turned into mutants against their will. It would only cause more hostility against our kind and a thirst for revenge that was sure to make many more complications than only the Mutant Registration Act become bitter reality.
“He will most likely not show up without protection and backup, but luckily for us, his team isn't very large. He's got the shapeshifter, Mystique; Sabretooth and another mutant by the name of Toad who should be fairly easy to deal with,” Scott summarized.
“Our most important objective is to destroy the machine; however we can't do that until Magneto has fully assembled it inside the Statue, so there's only a very small time window.”
“I believe it would be best to assign a certain task to everybody in advance,” the Professor cut in. “Scott, you'll take care of the machine. Jean, you'll deal with Mystique. By reading everyone's thoughts at all times, you can make sure you know if she tries to incorporate one of us. Storm, you can take care of Toad and create meteorological distraction while Scott blows up the machine. And Logan...you'll have to deal with Sabretooth while I'll try to talk to Eric.”
“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Storm asked worriedly. “You won't have any of us around to protect you...”
“He won't hurt me,” he assured her with true conviction in his voice that puzzled me a little.
What were those two anyway? Friends, enemies, or a bit of both? But again, this was a question it was not very wise to ask.
I leaned back in my chair and listened to the ongoing conversation about battle strategies and tactical details. Not really my field of expertise. What people said about the best laid plans wasn't far off; at least most of the time. I relied on my instincts in all areas of life and I preferred it that way.
Zoning out, I mentally reached out for Marie, feeling and listening for her heartbeat and breathing. Something was making me nervous and I just had to do a quick check to make sure she was okay...but she really wasn't.
I let out a tiny gasp when I finally located her and felt her heart race as if it was my own. Her scent was spiked with fear and I vividly saw her face before my eyes as she was writhing and thrashing in her sleep.
She was having a nightmare and I really hoped it wasn't one of mine...should I go upstairs and check on her...?
The muffled scream that my senses picked up when she suddenly woke up had me on my feet in an instant and the realization that she must be even more disturbed by the empty side of the bed than by her bad dreams sent me out of the room, muttering an incoherent excuse.
I sped up the stairs and down the hall to my room, yanking the door open to find a crying Marie sitting in bed, huddled into the covers.
“Logan?” she sniffled and lifted her head to look at me, as if to make sure I was real.
I caught her in my arms and pulled her against me, onto my lap, slowly rocking us back and forth.
“Shh, it's okay now,” I whispered. “I was downstairs, in a briefing in the Professor's office. Didn't get around to telling you 'bout that before.”
She nodded and I felt her heart rate and adrenaline levels decrease a bit as she relaxed against my chest.
“I had a nightmare,” she told me, still a little shaken by the aftermath of it. “Apparently those boxes in my head don't close properly at night...I don't even remember it now...”
She stared into the darkness and thoughtfully pushed the strands of hair that stuck to her sweaty forehead out of her face.
“What did Professor Xavier want to talk to you about?”
“It was about this mission that he wants me to take part in, they're gonna destroy Magneto's machine and save the world, something like that.”
I attempted a smile to cheer her up a little, but Marie simply looked at me in disbelief.
“And you're going?”
“Yeah,” I replied, a sudden hint of pride in my voice. She was going to be so proud of me, fighting for the good guys, preventing some messed-up mass transformation from happening and –
“You can't be serious!”
She pushed herself away from me, flinging the covers aside and getting out of bed to pace the room restlessly.
“Did you even think of me for a second?”
She didn't sound angry, just hurt and worried, which was even worse. And I couldn't figure out the reason. Had I done anything wrong? Was something wrong with the mission? I had assumed she would be happy...
“I'm doing this for you,” I replied dumbly. “So he won't try to get you anymore.”
“For me?” she asked quietly. “For me?!”
“I'm worried about you, I wanna make sure you're safe.”
“But I'm worried about you, too!”
Her voice broke with the last word and I wanted to get up and hold her in my arms again. As sad as it was, this was possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. Of course it was nonsense for her to be worried about me...I would recover from anything, I wouldn't get hurt. She was the one who needed protection, not me......only very slowly, the pieces were coming together in my head. Even though there was no reason to be concerned for my health, she suffered from the same anxieties that plagued me when it came to her safety. I had never even given any thought to that and felt incredibly stupid now.
“Listen, darling, I...I'll be fine. They can't hurt me.”
It was so strange to have somebody care about me that way. Nobody had ever shown that kind of concern. Hell, I didn't even really care what happened to me. Physical pain was a welcome distraction half of the time and even if I could have died, I probably wouldn't have given a shit about that either.
“Logan, just how dense are you?!” It came out as half a yell and half a sob and despite the insult, I once more had to fight the urge to walk over to her and capture her in my arms. “The guy controls metal. Metal, okay? He'll snap you in half!”
Her last words hit me like a smack to the head.
Of course.
I hadn't even thought of that for a second.
I'd been dead set on getting my revenge on Sabretooth, on fighting for a cause for the first time in my life that I hadn't even thought about Magneto's powers for once second.
How could I be such a fucking idiot?!
Made sense why she was scared for me now...if there was anyone out there who could seriously harm me, it was Magneto and I was running right into his arms.
“I wasn't gonna be up against him...Chuck assigned me to take care of Sabretooth,” I replied quietly, knowing how stupid I had to sound.
“Do you think he'll care who you've been assigned to?” Marie asked intensely. “Professor Xavier still thinks of Magneto as his old friend, but Logan...I've seen him trough Sabretooth's eyes, I know what he's capable of...you'll be the most vulnerable target to him...you can't go with them,” she pleaded.
I was half ready to agree with her and promise I would stay home, just to wipe the fear and terror off her face...it would be so easy now to just tell her she was right....
But it was too late. I had already said yes and whether it was dangerous or not, I had to go. Nobody else stood a chance against Sabretooth, with his healing factor that was so strangely similar to mine.
I might be putting myself at risk by joining the battle, but I would leave the others outnumbered and in even greater danger if I didn't go. It was too late now to go back to being selfish and reckless, I had taken a step into another direction by telling the Professor I was going to be part of the team and I couldn't take that back.
This mission had to be a success. If the X-Men lost, Marie would be in even more danger than before, with Magneto being pissed off and the people who could protect her gone. I had done a poor job of keeping her safe so far, I had to admit that to myself; and I was useless in protecting her against Magneto.
I didn't have a choice.
“I have to go, Marie,” I said quietly.
“Why?”
“For you. For them.” Let's just pretend for a second that they even cared. “Because I don't want to be the person I used to be.”
“No,” she sobbed. “You're just being stubborn and stupid!”
“All right, maybe I am. But right now I need to go back downstairs and we need to work on the plan, okay? I won't be long and I'll make sure that nothing will happen to me on the mission. We'll be smarter than them. It'll be fine.” I tried to sound as convincing as possible, given the fact that I didn't even fully believe myself.
“Logan, I...” She hid her face in her hands, sighing deeply. “I'm just gonna go. I'll be in my room, I...I can't do this right now. I can't be here and wait for you while you're – ...I just can't.”
“Honey, please...” I rose and reached out for her, trying to get a hold of her arm, but she pulled away, evading my touch.
“I'll see you in the morning.”
She didn't look at me again before she went out the door, quietly shutting it behind herself. I listened to her footsteps out in the hall; bare feet on cold linoleum, walking away from me.
It was the saddest sound I had ever heard.
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